I'm 19 and I do get turned on by looking at naked men and recently I was chatting to my roommates. We were talking about guys and I let it slip that I sometimes read Playgirl. They said that was weird and creepy and that they never get turned on by naked strangers . The only guy they want to see naked is their boyfriend. One of them said I should get checked out because I could have too much testestorone.
I'm a bit freaked by it because I do have a large sex drive , I masturbate daily and I don't want a relationship with a guy. My friends are the opposite they want a relationship with every guy they date. When I date someone they usually give me 'he only wants one thing' , 'he'll use you' and don't 'give it up yet' whereas I actually want a casual relationship and have desires too so I don't feel used at all.
I can't really ask anyone if I'm 'normal' and I don't like the word but the more I learn about my friends the more different I feel. Do you think that maybe I could have a hormone imbalance or something?
Posts: 15 | From: Ireland | Registered: Sep 2007
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Hormone imbalances cause things like lack of sexual development, headaches, menstrual issues, greater body hair growth, etc. Physical issues.
What someone does or doesn't enjoy sexually, or if someone has interest in pornography isn't about biology or physiology: that's mental stuff. Hormones -- including testosterone -- aren't why men or women look at porn, nor do hormones influence what kinds of relationships a person wants or if a person wants casual or more committed relationships. Again, those are emotional, social and psychological issues.
You're different from your friends (maybe: some may feel like you but feel shameful about it, which may be part of why a couple of them are being so judgmental).
But you're not different from plenty of other people: Playgirl has a WIDE circulation, and while its readership also includes gay men, an awful lot of women have bought it over the decades or it would not still be around and would not still be trying to cater to straight women. Marketing people know who they serve and what they're doing: it's their job to.
If it helps, think about how many queer youth have friends who are all heterosexual. Because we're different sexually from friends -- if we really even are -- doesn't mean there is something physically, mentally or emotionally wrong. Our social circles usually tend to be small and not the best representation of the world-at-large.
As well, friends typically are not that honest with each other about sex and sexual desires, particularly with young people who can often be so judgmental and so binary in the way they think.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 65636 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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As for sex drive, it's just different for different people. To give you an idea of what I mean, 'hypersexuality' - that is, libido which is high enough to be considered medically significant - is described as "characterized by a debilitating need for frequent genital stimulation". So in other words, unless your sex drive is constantly getting in the way of you being able to eat/sleep/work, then there's no problem.
-------------------- “In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.” Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006
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I just happened upon this message and i wanted to let you know that there is nothing "abnormal" about your situation. There are some very good reasons for not wanting a relationship and, believe me, it is TOTALLY normal to enjoy looking at porn (that's what it's there for!)
Not to sound snarky or anything, but personally, it sounds to me like your friends are sort of "fooling themselves" if you will. They want to have a relationship with every guy that comes along? Sounds a little hypocritical! There is this relationship ideal that tends to lead to a lot of disappointment on both sides. At least you are being honest about it and true to yourself.
Myself, i don't mind being in a relationship - i've been in the same one for... um... a lot of years. But my relationship is one based mostly on friendship and mutual enjoyment of sex. It's also a long distance relationship and an open relationship. And i love him too. I know i don't talk about it much with many people because i live in fear of the "you deserve better" line.
Sexuality is something that is meant to be (safely) enjoyed. And everybody enjoys something different.
Ok, so that's my rant. Just thought i'd tell you you're not alone
Posts: 1 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote:What kinds of people like pornography? It depends on what you consider 'pornography' to be, certainly, but almost everyone sometimes enjoys feeling sexually stimulated by something they read, watch, or look at. Your Aunt Gladys might love the thrilling sensations she gets from reading romance novels. You might really like watching movies with your favorite sexy superstars and imagining yourself getting to be in all the sexy romantic scenes with them. There are other options, too a lot of people like more stereotypical kinds of pornography like explicit magazines or videos. Some people like all of these things, and more besides. It's really a very wide-open question. The important thing to bear in mind is that a lot of people like a lot of different kinds of sexually stimulating, arousing kinds of music, art, pictures, movies, stories, et cetera. It's not unusual or weird if you do, too.
Click the above link if you're interested to learn more.
I am 16 and have been watching porn since i was 11/12. That may sound odd but at the time i wasnt sure what it was and watched it because i was curious, now it just helps me get turned on. The only problem i have is finding porn i like, i prefer womens porn as it isnt as exagerated as mens.
-------------------- aimessxo Posts: 3 | From: UK | Registered: Nov 2008
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