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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » what if you just don't know

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Author Topic: what if you just don't know
out cated
Neophyte
Member # 33334

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when i was like 9 i had a crush on a boy i thought i loved him then we moved then i didn't like any body and now i look at girls and i think she is so hot does this mean i like both? i don't know. what if no one likes me? what if just guys like me? what if girls don't like me and all i like is girl and none of them like me. i know boys like me but if no girls like me then I'm *ucked and not in a good way am i the only one here? [Eek!]

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happy is orange juice

Posts: 9 | From: surrey bc | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alaska
Scarleteen Volunteer
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hello out cated, and welcome to the boards!

it's perfectly okay to 'just don't know'!

for many people, orientation is a fluid thing; sometimes just for a little while when they're teens and figuring themselves out, sometimes for all their lives.
orientation isn't necessarily a drawer that they hop into and stay in for the rest of your life.

you've been attracted to a boy in the past and now you like to look at girls and feel attracted to them. you're a girl, right? if so, that might indeed indicate that you are bisexual or lesbian, and that'd both be fine, really.
the good thing: no one gets to judge about your orientation but you. how do *you* feel?

now as to the second question: will people like you?

i know there are days when one just feels like 'no one will like me EVER!', but in reality, if you're a thoughtful, caring, (for a lack of a word) 'good' person, the chances are in your distinct favour, that someone of the gender that you feel attracted to will be attracted to you. [Smile]

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caro

Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
out cated
Neophyte
Member # 33334

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at first i was worried that i liked girls because i didn't "really get off" my first time and i thought that i liked girls because if the sex if the guy didn't work out maybe the sex with the girl would work out but i talked to my sister and she said first wow 14 is young then told me about her first time and i felt better and now i guess i have to worry less about sex and why i like boys/girls and look at the people behind the gender.

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happy is orange juice

Posts: 9 | From: surrey bc | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
out cated
Neophyte
Member # 33334

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am i right????

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happy is orange juice

Posts: 9 | From: surrey bc | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
GreenGoddess
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Member # 29207

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What you're feeling is perfectly normal, like alaska said, orientation can be a fluid thing. Attraction is also a very fluid thing. Throughout my life, I've had times when I've felt attracted to women, times when I've been attracted to men, and times when I've been perfectly content to be attracted to no one. I suspect many people can say the same. And not "Getting off" with one partner of a certain sex isn't necessarily an indication of sexual preference.

Good luck!

PS. Since you are sexually active, I hope you're practicing safer sex!

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The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty; not knowing what comes next. -Ursula K. LeGuin

Posts: 2 | From: Minneapolis, MN | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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