Donate Now
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Gender Issues » Sensitive guy

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Sensitive guy
Djuna
Activist
Member # 29269

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Djuna     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi, I'm a 15-year-old guy but most of my friends all agree that I have a very strong feminine sides and all the internet quizzes say I'm about 85% feminine (stereotypically). I also have a lot of my masturbation fantasies from the point of a woman (i mean like i'm a woman being touched, and having her clitoris being touched and being penetrated and stuff). I fantasise a lot about having female genitals, although that might be because I heard women have like 4 times stronger orgasms than men. My point is this: does all this mean that I'm a would-be transexual or homosexual? This would be a problem for me as I strongly believe in not altering what God gave you (ie no appearance altering surgery etc.) and I'm not attracted to guys at all. Well, like girls can say other girls are good looking without being lesbian, i mean i can acknowledge that a guy's good looking but without being attracted. So am I just a sensitive guy who will empathize with women's arousal (and therefore be AMAZING in bed when the time comes lol) or is it something deeper? Sorry if this seems silly but i can be very insecure because I can't really talk to my parents about anything, let alone sexula problems and try telling guys you shower with after gym that you think you might be gay or something. [Smile]

--------------------
“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 17924

Icon 1 posted      Profile for JamsessionVT     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's OK. None of the questions you've asked here so far are bad/silly questions.

But, in answer to this one, no. What you've described does not mean trangender/homosexuality.

I'd really suggest staying away from those online quizzes, b/c they aren't information, have no factual basis (they are meant for goofing off) and are based on questions that have nothing to do with much of anything (one I took once asked me what my favorite color was, and then proceeded to tell me my sexual future...apparently I will end up as a hooker in New York City after I drop out of college because I like the color red). So I wouldn't take the fact that a quiz told you you're 85% feminine to heart.

Fantasies, too, are just fantasies, so any fantasy is fine, and none of them may be true. We've had users post about fantasizing having intercourse with a family member, but be totally grossed out by the idea. So as long as they are fantasies, they are fine. Similiarly, many people wonder what it would be like to have the opposite gender's genitals. It's probably more common than you think. (As for the orgasm bit, this is a bunch of bollocks. Men can experience just as intense (or the opposite) orgasms as women, and vica versa.

None of this means anything really, in terms of sexual orientation. It is perfectly OK to find a male attractive, but not be attractive TO him. Both genders do this. So you don't need to worry about anything [Smile]

--------------------
Abbie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Love Us? Keep Us Around by Donating!

Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mr. Matthew
Activist
Member # 29890

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Mr. Matthew     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
smileyjoseph,

I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist, but here's my opinion, which is based on reading and personal experience:

Having fantasies that involve thinking of yourself as a woman does not mean that you have transgender or homosexual tendencies. And having those fantasies also doesn't mean that you will be more sensitive to women's arousal and be amazing in bed. Those types of fantasies, in men, are quit common and can be very pleasurable. They are nothing to be concerned about. Enjoy them fully, without fear or guilt.

Note: I do not mean to say that if one is gay or transgender that one should have fear or guilt about that. We are who we are, and we must learn to love ourselves regardless.

I would be making wild guesses if I theorized about the psychological roots of these types of fantasies, so I won't. But I don't believe they signify anything unusual or that they contain deep messages about who you are.

I will, however, say that if you want to be amazing in bed, then being a sensitive guy who empathizes with his partner is where it's at. Definitely!

Posts: 220 | From: Massachusetts, USA | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Djuna
Activist
Member # 29269

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Djuna     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Haha thanks. [Big Grin]
To be honest, I was surprised to see another reply to this after about a month, but thanks for being thorough when looking for threads to comment on Mr. Matthew. [Smile]

--------------------
“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
zeta
Activist
Member # 20185

Icon 1 posted      Profile for zeta     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You're 15?

While i totally agree there'd be nothing wrong with being gay or transsexual, you're only just learning about sexuality. Weirdest fantasies, never mind about the gender, are just fine and mean nothing at all. (And as adult, fantasy is still vastly different from reality)

You need to worry about being a good and attentive partner when the time comes -statistically likely to be not that soon -and in the meanwhile, don't worry about it. If people spoke about these things it'd be agreed that "weird" when it comes to imagination is normal.

Not being a stereotypical male, and being at peace with yourself instead, will eventually be a pro when you're looking for a partner you can be happy with. =)

--------------------
I don't get even, I get odder

Posts: 57 | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Djuna
Activist
Member # 29269

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Djuna     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
[oops - this double posted by accident so I got rid of it]

[ 08-11-2006, 12:02 PM: Message edited by: smileyjoseph ]

--------------------
“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Djuna
Activist
Member # 29269

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Djuna     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oooh, the age thing. I get that a lot. I'm the youngest in my year. [Smile]
Isn't discovering your sexuality about asking these questions? Who am I really? What's happening to me? Is it normal? Is it OK?
Also, while I appreciate you said 'statistically', the bit about me not finding a partner (although I assume you mean sexual partner, now I re-read it) any time soon really hurt. [Frown]
Just kidding, but to be honest the first time I read it I did say 'Ouch!' to myself. [Big Grin]

--------------------
“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

Posts: 1269 | From: London, UK | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
zeta
Activist
Member # 20185

Icon 1 posted      Profile for zeta     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Ooh, I am so sorry to pull the "kid" card. I didn't mean to, honestly, it came out wrong. And of course you're entirely right about asking the questions.

I meant to reassure you that in my experience, being really confused about sexual identity, on fantasy level and reality, for some of us, too, is quite normal part of asking the questions and nothing to freak about. That it's not such big a deal; in time it'll all sort itself out. I didn't mean to suggest you won't find a partner and get laid -hey, I think I'd have fancied you when I was fifteen =). At least if you were nice to my transsexual friends. =)

Chill, sympathizing with chickies will only be a good thing.

--------------------
I don't get even, I get odder

Posts: 57 | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3