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LilBlueSmurf
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I already have a thread on me, somewhere, but it's a bajillion years old and I'm soooo different now than i was then ...

So.

I'm Hollie. I'm 22. I live in Kingston, Ontario, with my fiance, 3 cats (Missy, Storm, & Luna), beta fish (Frank) and hamster (Waffles). My fiance and i have been together for over 5 years now, but he just asked me to marry him this Christmas [Smile]

I've just completed my Bachelors of Science in Nursing (honours!) degree and will graduate June 8. I have a job as a nurse on an obstetrics/gynecology floor, but i haven't fully gotten there yet ... I'm still in orientation. I've been to four days of orientation and have three and half more days to go. Once i'm done orientation, i'll have a few shifts to work one on one with a nurse who already works on that unit ... Just to get the hang of things and learn a few skills that i didn't learn in school.

Right now i will be working under a temporary license ... I have to pass the Canadian Registered Nursing Exam (CRNE) in order to get a real license. I write this exam June 7. Less than a week to go! I was busy this week with orientation, but i plan to spend the majority of this weekend studying. If i fail this exam, i lose my temporary license and my job ... Not cool! I did not go to four years of freaking university to fail this exam ... !!

I don't think it's fully hit me that this is the end ... in a good way, of course. Part of me still expects to go back to school next year. I do think i want to go back to school, but i'm not sure in what sense yet. I'd like to get my neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) courses so i can work in the NICU ... I doubt i'll go back for my masters (in nursing) but it's always an option. I've considered going back to school to become a nurse practitioner, but i think i need a few more years of experience. And while i think i can be happy in nursing, i will always wonder what would've happened if i'd gone to school as a midwife instead. It's another four years (four freaking years!) of university ... Not sure how bad i want it :/

And ... umm ... I think that's it for now. I napped this afternoon so i'm not tired now so i'll just veg in front of the TV for a bit and go to bed ... eventually.

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Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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LilBlueSmurf
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I write the CRNE tomorrow.

I did 125 questions last nite and 100 questions today. I'm all studied out. I don't really feel like i'll absorb anything else anyway ... I really think there's just a point where the brain will not accept anymore new information. And if it does, you're losing it as fast as you're gaining it.

There are a few things i need to look up, that i should know, but i don't really count that as 'studying', per se.

I also still need to pack ... I'll be going right from the exam to St. Kitts for graduation. Blagh. Stress !!

I've been drinking tea like it's going out of style today. It's comfort food for me, i think. And i'm having pumpkin cheesecake for dinner. I wanted greek salad but my fridge froze it on me [Frown] ... We really need to get that fixed ... Can't complain too much about pumpkin cheesecake though [Razz]

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Gumdrop Girl
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Rest up and get your mind centered. I hope you rock that exam and pass with flying colors. I drove my sister to her licensing exam (NCLEX as it's called out here). She had the longest possible version of the test, but we went shopping at the outlet mall afterwards. then on the way home, my windshield was broken by a rock that got flung at it while we were out on the highway.

Anyway, she passed and is a full-fledged nurse. And I wish you the same fortune [Big Grin]

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LilBlueSmurf
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I tired to write another post here about a week ago but the internet ate it. I had too many smileys or something, and when i hit the 'back' button my post was gone [Frown] And so i gave up.

The exam is done. The first half i felt very comfortable with, but the second half kicked my butt. I would not be totally surprised if i failed, but my whole class has been saying that. We can't all fail ...? Talk about a nursing shortage ... :eyeroll:

Graduation was good (but sooooo long). The grad party was VERY good. I got roses from my mom and her husband and an RN necklace from Trev. ... And it still doesn't seem real yet.

I've completed classroom orientation. I did a breastfeeding course ... Which was sooooo cool [Smile] They don't really teach us much about breastfeeding in school, and i've always wanted to learn.

I start my first real shift on the 22nd. 7am-7pm. All of my shifts are 12 hours, and i work either days or nights. I will work with an RN for 12 shifts (or more, if i need it), and so far it looks like it's four on (two days, two nights), five off. Since i'm technically part time, i don't really know what my real schedule will look like ... I think i'm just following my 'buddys' schedule for now.

I know the 12 shifts will go by very quickly. I expect to be on my own by mid July. ... That really freaks me out.

... In other news, i finally got a key to the pool. I can swim !! I love to swim [Big Grin] ... We share the pool with a few of the buildings around us, but from what i've seen so far, it's usually empty. It's only open until 9pm, so if i'm gonna go tonight, i better go soon ...

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Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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LilBlueSmurf
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I've started working now !!! I'm five shifts into orientation, and all have been on Obstetrics.

I can take up to four moms and babies now. I've learned how to work the gravity IVs (i'm used to having pumps!) and the med sheets. I made a med error already though [Frown] I got through four years of university without one, and make one just 3 shifts in. Blagh. It wasn't major, and it was caught by the incoming nurse, so it was okay. It just means i need to check and double check and have someone else check if i'm not sure.

I can also take blood !! I was so worried about that, but some of the nurses let me practice on them first, and i've done patients as well. Getting blood from babies is another story though, and i need to still work on that.

I work the next four days (Happy Canada Day wknd to me!), still on orientation, but on the Gynecology side. I'm kind of excited to not be having to provide breastfeeding support here ... It's tiring and frustrating and i'm still learning myself ... And i'm not used to having so little control, but you can't really MAKE the baby get it.

... I've been paid again though! I DO like the pay. After four years of zero-min. income, a steady income is such a wonderful thing to have.

I'm learning to budget and pay my bills online too. I'm growing up!! I think i may even make it, after all ...

[ 06-30-2006, 07:29 PM: Message edited by: LilBlueSmurf ]

--------------------
Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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cool87
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Are you the one who intend to be a physician ? If not, who is it ? I heard somebody here wanted to become a doctor ?

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LilBlueSmurf
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That's GumdropGirl [Smile]

[ 06-30-2006, 07:38 PM: Message edited by: LilBlueSmurf ]

--------------------
Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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daria319
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It's so awesome that you're doing well! I'd completely croak at the MENTION of med school. You sound like you're working very hard and I'm glad you're enjoying it. Congratulations, big time!

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"You owe me two lifetimes and a pair of perfect blue eyes."

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cool87
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Good luck too in med school. I'm going to as well. Except, that it is in Canada so it is quite different. You must have be having really high scores too.

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LilBlueSmurf
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(Psst ... I'm not in med school ... I am working as a nurse ... GumdropGirl is going into med school)

--------------------
Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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cool87
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Yeah I know but she must visit this board since she has posted here before.

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Gumdrop Girl
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Congratulations Smurf!!! Hope you have a long and storied career in the years ahead. Maybe a few moms will name their little daughters after you [Big Grin]

and cool, merci beaucoup for the luck. i need it. 'tis a tough route i've chosen.

--------------------
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daria319
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quote:
Originally posted by LilBlueSmurf:
(Psst ... I'm not in med school ... I am working as a nurse ... GumdropGirl is going into med school)

I live near the Medical College of Georgia, and we colloquially call them both med school (since both the doctors and nurses do shifts at the teaching hospital) around here -- perhaps that's a local thing, or just a short answer new nurses give to get people off their backs?

Re-reading everything, it seems I missed some bits -- you're TOTALLY done with school and nursing license exam. Congrats on that. After asking my fiance's mom (she's a labor & delivery nurse) lot of the nurses around here go through a year or two of work in the teaching hospital between degrees, getting trained more in different units, so I guess it seems like "med school" to some of us.

Chalk it up to a slip of the tongue -- or keyboard, to be more accurate.

[ 07-01-2006, 10:43 AM: Message edited by: daria319 ]

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"You owe me two lifetimes and a pair of perfect blue eyes."

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cool87
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Gumdrop girl, c'est juste normal de te souhaiter bonne chance. (I hope you understood me here)I know you'll do good, look at how much you already know. You're an epidemiologist, a sexpert. I might not know about sex a lot, but how do I know about other things. People just have different knowledges but that's what makes each doctor unique. Medical school requires a lot of hardwork but I lot of people have made it so I think it is also possible for us to make it too.

I was just wondering if you wanted to specialize in a particular field or if you just wish to be a general physician. Do you want to be in obstetrics or gynecology or something like that ? As for me, I don't know yet. I don't want to be a gynecologist though.

[ 07-01-2006, 08:50 AM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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wobblyheadedjane
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Smurf, congrats on finishing up! One of my attendant's girlfriend just finished up nursing school in May also, and got a job at a prominent Toronto hospital in neo-natal, so I hear a lot on the nursing babies front. It sounds like such a rewarding (and at times heartbreaking) job. I wish you all the best! [Big Grin]
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LilBlueSmurf
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Daria -- Yes, i am totally done with school and the licensing exam. I dont know if i've passed the licencing exam or not yet, and am working on a temporary license. I should know within the next few months if i passed or not. If i pass, i get a real license and get to keep my job. If i failed, i lose my license and my job, and get to re-write the exam (for another $450!)

Gummy and Jane -- Thanks for the congrats [Big Grin] Actually i think neonatal ICU is what i'm after, but i haven't been there yet. We'll see!

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Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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ThisGuy
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Congratulations!

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Save the environment - use your brain!

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Mathilde
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Congrats, Smurf! I'm sure you'll end up passing the exam with flying colors! [Smile]
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LilBlueSmurf
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The results of the CRNE just came in TODAY ...

I PASSED !!!!!!!!!!

I will soon be Hollie, RN instead of Hollie, RN (temp) ... Once i get around to filling out the forms and paying ANOTHER fee ...

My hands won't stop shaking !!

And i cried. I'm not really a 'happy crier' ... But the tears just started flowing and i couldn't stop them! I called my mom ... Emailed my dad ... I'm sure i scared the crap out of the boy when i came squealing through the door [Wink]

OMG ... The relief i feel is unbelieveable. I have an apartment and three cats, and i'm partially supporting my partner too ... I cannot afford not to work (for this wage/hr, even).

I work tonite, or i'd be partying hard! I think i'm going to buy a cake though, ... The girls (we have no guys on OB/Gyne ... ) and i are going to celebrate !!!!

[Big Grin]

[ 08-17-2006, 12:18 PM: Message edited by: LilBlueSmurf ]

--------------------
Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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wobblyheadedjane
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Way to go! I knew you had it in ya!

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Unlucky at cards; lucky at love.

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-Lauren-
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Awesome! Congrats, Smurf.
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cool87
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That's great. So now you're really a nurse.

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Wise Janet Weiss
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congrats!
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ThisGuy
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Congratulations! [Smile]

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LilBlueSmurf
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The wedding plans have started ... Somewhat. We've decided that we want to do it sooner rather than later. Nothing official yet, but we want it to be done w/i the next year. And we're not having a 'real wedding' in the sense that we're just doing the paperwork at city hall. We'll have a small family dinner and then a party. We think. Again, nothing is official ... We may find we can't even afford THAT yet ... We'll see.

I'm officially back on my anti depressants now. I've been on Zoloft, Effexor and Prozac ... Now i'm trying Celexa out for size. I just haven't felt the same since i moved here in May ... It's gotten way worse, to the point where i just wasn't coping well, in the last few weeks. As much as i hate requiring medication ... Not that this is the only medication i 'require'. I'm also on blood pressure medication now, and i've been on the birth control pill for years.

I think my anxiety is my biggest problem ... I'm just a big ball of nerves ALL the time. And i can't focus on any one thing at any given time. It almost feels like i have ADD or something ... My mind is just racing ALL the time. And it's exhausting as hell.

I'm also in the process of getting my sleep apnea taken care of. I had a sleep study done a few years ago and they told me that i did have sleep apnea, but when they put the CPAP machine on me, i didn't sleep a wink [Frown] I see the sleep doctor at the end of october, and then i'll need another study done, i'm sure ... THEN i'll get my machine. Hopefully this will allow me to sleep more than 2hrs at a time.

--------------------
Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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oOo Lea oOo
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quote:
I think my anxiety is my biggest problem ... I'm just a big ball of nerves ALL the time. And i can't focus on any one thing at any given time. It almost feels like i have ADD or something ... My mind is just racing ALL the time. And it's exhausting as hell.
Smurf, I feel your pain. I have been struggling with anxiety for a long time. I'm also bipolar and obsessive compulsive, so my nerves are a train wreck. Its hard, but doable.

Congrats on the RN! Ya know, I am thinking of switching my major to nursing. I know I want something medical. Nursing just seems like the way to go.

Although, Theraputic Massage is interesting. I am taking all the pre-req. courses, so I have time to change my mind.

While my dad was recovering on the 22 from his back surgery, I overheard my mother talking to the RN. She was 22. My mother told her to persuade me to get the massage idea out of my head and move toward nursing. Finally, to please my mother (mainly to get her to be quiet [Razz] ) I started asking the girl questions. Much to my suprise, I started to actually consider it.

It was a big kick in the knee when she is only a year older than I am and is ... well.. there. Ick. I feel so far behind.

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And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

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cool87
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Well I'm sorry to hear about your problems Smurf. Seems like you got a lot on yur shoulders lately, hey ? It sure doesn't seem easy.

Take care. Hope things will get better.

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LilBlueSmurf
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Thanks Lea and Cool for your comments.

Lea --

You're not far behind at all ! I think in the US you can do diploma RN programs too, so it won't take you four years if you don't want it to. I had people in my class that were well into their 40's, and now they have a wonderful career in nursing ahead of them [Smile] If it's something you really want to do, you should do it!

Cool87 --

It hasn't been easy but things have been getting better since i've started back on anti depressants.

................................................

I had a job interview today for a job i really wanted. I'm pretty sure i blew it. I'm so disappointed [Frown] I'll find out in the next few days for sure, but i highly highly doubt i got it. It's a specialized area of nursing that i have no experience in, so what can i expect, really ...? I'd prepared myself w/ typical interview questions and most of these questions were very specific ... Specific scenarios and such. I was asked about health acts i've never heard of and either had to guess or say i didn't know. I had a lot of "I don't really know ..."s

[Frown]

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LilBlueSmurf
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Nothing says 'have a nice day' quite like waking up to blood spots on your new white underwear [Razz] I had a bit of spotting on monday and again today. Very little ... Hardly enough to wear a pantyliner for, but defineatly enough to stain underwear. Uuuuuuugh.

I was supposed to work today but they were quite a few people over so i came home. I didn't have to ... I came home 8 hours early on Saturday too. I shouldn't do it. I need the money ... And yet, i just can't say no when they ask me if i want to go home. OF COURSE i want to go home. Hopefully they're not overbooked tomorrow night too, b/c i HAVE to work tomorrow. No option. Must pay rent. Must by food. Must feed the piggies (cats!) ...

I'm feeling a lot better lately ... Most of the time. Sometimes i feel like i'm two people though. I go from super happy to really NOT happy pretty fast. I think this is probably par for the course w/ a mood disorder though ... [Frown] Yesterday was a very good day and i was very happy ... Even looking forward to going to work (and i'm not sure that's happened since i started). Today i'm in a not very good mood ... Not necessarily bad, i don't think, just ... 'off'.

I didn't get the job from my last post, but i got a permanent job on the unit i work on and i'll have full time hours from Nov 13 until Jan or Feb [Smile] That will get us through xmas and maybe we'll even be able to start saving and paying off some loans.

The plan for today is sleep ... I work nights tomorrow, so i should sleep a bit today so i can stay up all nite and sleep tomorrow during the day. I also need to start reading the 'pre seminar reading material' for a course i have to take on monday -- Fetal Health Survailance. This course will allow me to have patients who are in labour and i'll be able to hook them up to the machine and read the output ... which will tell me what moms contractions are like, what baby's heartrate is and how it is tolerating labour. I'm excited, but confused ... I've read through some of it and it all looks like jibberish. There are a lot of variables ... Two strips that look the same can mean different things at different times [Confused]

--------------------
Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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LilBlueSmurf
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Wow ... Didn't realize it'd been so long [Smile]

I'm feeling MUCH better now. My celexa has been doing me well. I've also been losing some weight ... My appetite has changed and i don't eat as much as i used to.

Got my Christmas and New Years schedule for work ... I work the 24th and 25th days, and 26th and 27th nights. I get New Years Eve and New Years Day off, but i don't really care b/c trev will be working New Years Eve anyway. B/c i work Christmas this year though, i should have next Christmas off ... And it'll be our first Christmas as husband and wife [Big Grin]

... Yes! I'm getting MARRIED [Smile] We've set the date for Jan 27, 2007. It's coming up quick, but i really want to do it now. I'm a very impatient person, and when i set my mind to do something, i want to do it NOW. We've been together for almost 6 years now, so it's not like this is something no one was expecting ... or something we're not ready for. We're ready !!!!!!

The last few days have been kind of crummy ... I'm having really odd lower right abdominal/pelvic pain. I think i may have an ovarian cyst or something brewing. I'm trying to manage w/ pain killers at home, but if it's not better by monday or so, i'll have to go to the clinic.

Other than that ... Nothing much new. I'm off til Wednesday. Got some laundry and grocery shopping to do, and we need to get downtown to get our marriage license (weeeeee!) before then. And i need to start my Christmas shopping sometime soon [Eek!]

--------------------
Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

Posts: 7168 | From: Ontario | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LilBlueSmurf
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1207

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Oh wow ... December since i've posted here last ... Gotta fix that ...

So i'm MARRIED now [Smile] Got married Janurary 27, so we're almost at 5 months now. Happy as a clam. Just moved into a new (bigger! nicer!) apartment w/ my husband and our four cats.

Still working as an RN doing OB/Gyne. Loving it.

Loving life in general right now ... Happier than i have been in a long time, i think.

--------------------
Nursing is a work of heart!
~ unknown

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LucysDiamonds
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Aww, that's so cute!! Congrats, um, five months late... haha.

Glad everything's going well for you! [Smile]

--------------------
So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky
As someone told me lately
Everyone deserves the chance to fly

Posts: 365 | From: DC | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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