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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Safer Sex & Birth Control » Birth control for a long-distance realtionship

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Author Topic: Birth control for a long-distance realtionship
LemonIceTea
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Member # 48071

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I am in somewhat of a long distantace realtionship(we only get to see each other a few times a month.)I know that the pill/patch would be a waste of my money and I read on another site that having your body filled with extra synthetic hormones isn't the best idea unless you need them.

I was thinking about using condoms in addition to spermicides. I read here (as well as other sites) that together they are as good as the pill. Any other suggestions?

Just for the record we haven't done it yet and we will probably only be doing it once every couple of months to be honest. (We can only do it when my parents aren't around)

[ 07-28-2010, 03:05 PM: Message edited by: LemonIceTea ]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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So, what you're asking about are methods that only need to be used at the time of sex, not at times one is not having sex, yes?

Those would then be, in order of highest to lowest effectiveness, condoms, cervical barriers, the contraceptive sponge, withdrawal and spermicides. By all means, combining more than one of those methods can provide a typical use rate higher than the typical use rate of the pill alone, and a perfect use rate that's about the same as the pill's perfect use rate by itself. If you want to use and combine those methods, which ones you'd combine really depends on what you want, have access to, what kind of effectiveness you want, and a few other specifics. If you want to fill me in a little more on your preferences within that group, or ask more questions, I'd be glad to help.

Just FYI, plenty of people in LDRs or who only have sex infrequently do still use hormonal methods. They consider that they need them because they want that level of effectiveness and prefer those methods, a rationale I think is perfectly sound. Not saying you have to choose those methods -- we all get to choose whichever ones we feel are the best fir for us, and there's no right one for everyone -- but being in an LDR doesn't mean those methods would automatically be a bad fit for you for that reason alone.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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LemonIceTea
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Okay my preferences are something that is realtively inexpensive, and something that is only done when we have sex. He said that he will always use a condom but I wanted something extra. I read about some kind of spermicide that is 94% effective when use as directed. I was thinking about useing that.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Spermicides can be a fine choice, but the thing to know about them is that they're the least effective of all methods in perfect and typical use, and can only even have a chance of working if the condom breaks, slips off or isn't used. And if and when that happens, we'd suggest Plan B to reduce the risk of pregnancy, rather than relying on the spermicide alone.

So, one alternative you might also want to consider is getting a pack of Plan B to keep around to use either if and when there is any issue with the condom, or to also have in case of problems if you're going to use a spermicide as well. I'd also advise that if you're going to use condoms -- which we'd suggest for STI prevention regardless -- you make sure you have some yourself, too. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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