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My boyfriend and have have been having vaginal sex for the past couple of months, and the positions that he likes are somewhat different for me. We always start out in a simple missionary position, but then he always ends up being on top of me where I am laying on my stomach and he is penetrating from behind. He always stops when I say no, but from this position does this mean that he likes to be in control of the relationship? Or is there no connection between the two whatsoever?
Posts: 1 | From: Chicago | Registered: Dec 2012
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Honestly, I'd never connected the positions a person likes or doesn't to them wanting to be in control or not in a relationship. My boyfriend and I "share the power" in our relationship very equally, including what positions and/or other activities we'd like to try when it comes to sex, but that really has nothing to do with who wants or has more control over any aspect of our relationship, because sex is just one facet of it.
Considering your boyfriend stops when you say no, it sounds as though he is at least respectful of your sexual boundaries, but correct me if I'm wrong on that. Is he respectful of other personal boundaries of yours, as well? Do you both feel included and listened to when you decide things in and about your relationship that don't necessarily have to do with sexual activity?
If this is about how you would prefer to maybe try some different positions, for whatever reason(s), have you ever suggested this (in general or with specific positions) to him? What was his response if you did? (If he said no, did he explain why?)
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(So sorry for the double post, but I can't edit my post--the edit period has elapsed, which I didn't know happens--and wanted to say one more thing.)
The positions my boyfriend and I wind up in if we're not trying something new are often the ones we find comfortable, and it's usually one of us on top, again, simply because it's the most comfortable and/or pleasurable to be in that position at that time. We still figure out as a unit which position(s) we'd like to do; even if one or the other of us pretty immediately says "Hey, let's do [this]", the other still has to okay it before we start.
Posts: 70 | Registered: Apr 2012
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