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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Displeasure and Discomfort

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Author Topic: Displeasure and Discomfort
RaiMar
Neophyte
Member # 45326

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Hello,

I am a 20 year old female, who struggles with arousal and overall sexual issues it seems. I am a woman who wants to want to have sex and actually enjoy it. I am not in a sexual relationship with any one, other than myself. This being said, I don't masturbate often, and when I do, I have to watch erotic videos in order to feel desire and arousal first. I can self-lubricate, but only up until I insert something vaginally. Once I do, lubrication stops and I lose interest in the act. Vaginal stimulation isn't pleasurable for me. When I insert a vibrator or dildo into my vagina, I feel the urge to bear down and push it out- not because of orgasm either. It is not pleasurable, even if I have achieved orgasm through clitoral stimulation beforehand. I want to enjoy vaginal intercourse, but I am fearful that I never will.

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Iraina Marlene

"I am my own kind of beautiful."

Posts: 36 | From: Just Another Farm Town, Ohio | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Can I first check in with you about why you want to engage in intercourse?

In other words, let's say that maybe it just isn't something you like or that feels good for you: maybe that's right now, maybe it's for-always.

If it's not something you enjoy and that feels good to you, what do you think it could offer you?

If it helps to put this in a different context, what about a food you really don't like. If you just didn't like eating something, what would you do? Would you keep trying to like it, be sad about not liking it, etc? Or would you let it go and just stick with the foods you did like?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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