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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Need help.

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Author Topic: Need help.
Member # 74160

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I'm having difficulties having an orgasm during intercourse. I'm 17 and I lost my virginity at 14. I have at four sexual partners, all of whom were virgins. I have a wonderful boyfriend now who enjoys experimenting with different positions. I am not ashamed of my body, and am very familiar with masterbation and also enjoy pornography. I feel I am very much in tune with my sexuality. However, I have been unable to have an orgasm during intercourse thus far. I generally masterbate straddling a pillow and it usually only takes me a minute to reach a climax if I'm already aroused. I have also been unable to orgasm using my fingers, hands or any other method. My boyfriend doesn't know that I haven't been climaxing, although I've been trying to be more honest about how he's making me feel (I used to constantly praise him in the beginning, thinking this problem would work itself out). I am also very excited to begin lovemaking and feel very aroused and I spend time fastasizing. I throughly enjoy sex, but I'd like to have an orgasm and not lie to my boyfriend anymore. I believe what's wrong is that I've gotten too use to masterbating with lots of pressure really quickly. I would love some advice on what to do.
Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 70526

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Not an expert but maybe you can try clitoris stimulation while your having sex? Or after he orgasms he and if you haven't he could give you oral?
Posts: 36 | From: The states | Registered: Jul 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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[ 08-03-2011, 07:36 AM: Message edited by: breath ]

Posts: 357 | From: US | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 51804

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It's very common for women not to experience orgasm during intercourse, so I'd not focus on that too much. Here is a link for more information.

If you're wanting to orgasm during partnered sex, the first thing I'd suggest is not to worry about orgasming. If we're thinking about it, and focussing on it as a goal; it's far less likely to happen than if we just focus on what is pleasurable and not worry about reaching a "goal". Also, since you do know one way you can orgasm, have you tried recreating that with your partner?

I also think it would be better if you could be honest with your boyfriend; so that you can both work together on this, rather than you trying to do it by yourself. If he doesn't know that you're not orgasming, then you can't really expect him to work on changing that, you know?

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Like loststone says, the majority of women cannot orgasm from intercourse alone. This is nothing wrong with you, it's the way women are built. That's why sex should not just be about intercourse alone for both parties to enjoy it.

Check out this great article on this:
The Great No-Orgasm-from-Intercourse Conundrum

Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

Posts: 876 | From: Seattle | Registered: Apr 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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