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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Making love for the first time :)

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Author Topic: Making love for the first time :)
Yesman
Activist
Member # 45226

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Hey everyone

Recently i made love to my girlfriend. It was amazing !

she didn't feel much pain because before our first time we thought we'd prepare her through fingering. My penis's width is like two fingers wide so we started gettin her used to two fingers. At first it was sore then it gradually became pleasure. She said near the end it started feeling sore bt because it was dry (we didn't have any lube).

But during it i could not keep my Penis hard. I think maybe cos i was thinkin bout it too much ? So i was basically having sex with a half powered erection.

Why is this happenin ?

I've noticed too that when me and my girlfriend make out for like 2-3 hours (with brakes between) my erection starts gettin harder and harder to get, to a point where i actually can't get an erection. why is this happening ? my erection is strongest the first time we start kissing

Posts: 52 | From: South Africa | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Our bodies aren't machines, so they don't always work the way we want them to. Too, if you're going for a long time (and 3 hours is a long time!), then this is likely due to you simply tiring yourself out.

If you're in the mood and want to keep going but you're not getting erections, that doesn't have to be a big deal: there's tons of other sexual activities you can engage in.

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Yesman
Activist
Member # 45226

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I just that i don't feel like engaging in any sort of sex (oral or vaginal) without having a nice long foreplay. But now i feel if i do then my erection power is just goin to go down. But at the same time i do not want to jump in wen it doesn't feel right
Posts: 52 | From: South Africa | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
AmityJane
Neophyte
Member # 48828

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You are overthinking the whole thing, a common mistake. Stop thinking. Focus purely on the moment. Let yourselves go and don't think about how well it is going. Kiss and feel each other but if you do it fo too long, it won't work. Soon after you feel turned on, have sex. Just enjoy it, it will happen naturally.
Posts: 26 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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Yesman - It might help to change the way you're thinking about this. Sex doesn't have to follow a script, and intercourse doesn't need to be the main attraction. Just do whatever the two of you feel like and what's giving you the most pleasure. If you don't have intercourse, then you don't. There's plenty of other sexual activities that can feel awesome, and you don't need to have intercourse to have sex.

Amity - You're right: over-thinking can inhibit arousal. However, As I said to Yesman above, there's no reason to focus on intercourse. Sex is A LOT more than that. Check it out: What's Sex?

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Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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Yesman
Activist
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I understand this, its just usually if it does lead to intercourse it only happens after a long time of makin out or after other kinds of sex like oral. I'm just wonderin if this is normal
Posts: 52 | From: South Africa | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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If which is normal?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Yesman
Activist
Member # 45226

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Not being able to get a strong erection after foreplay
Posts: 52 | From: South Africa | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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It's normal, really, to not get an erection OR to get an erection at any time, really.

In other words, there's really no benchmark of normality for when it happens or doesn't happen. It is also normal for anyone not to be able to sustain an erection for a very long time.

Does that help clear that up for you?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Yesman
Activist
Member # 45226

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Ya it does thanx.

I think it is because i think about it too much as well

Posts: 52 | From: South Africa | Registered: Jan 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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