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Author Topic: quick advice please
peachess
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Hi, I already posted this in the experts only,
but i figured i'd repost here just to get some more opinions.

Hi everyone.
So i'm very new here. Like I actually stumbled across this site looking for some help, so hopefully you guys can offer some advice!
So i've been on the pill for a little while. Last night, while having sex with my boyfriend the condom broke ( we always wear condoms too). I have been taking the pill at the same time (before bed) every day, but I'm wondering if i should use PLan B? I had the same problem last month, only I had missed a couple of pills earlier in the month so I took plan b. The pharmacist said I should not be constantly taking it. I donno, am I at high risk of being pregnant?

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Heather
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How long have you been using the pill for: in other words, when did you first start taking it?

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peachess
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probably almost a year ago? My doctor put me on it because of bad cramps.
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Heather
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Okay. So, you understand that the pill by itself, whe used properly, is far more effective than Plan B is?

If you didn't miss any pills in this cycle, I don't see a need for Plan B, nor is it likely to change your level of risk by much at all. And indeed, you don't want to be taking it often, especially when you already use another hormonal method.

Condom breaks, just so you know, are actually pretty rare, so if you want to talk about how to be sure they're used correctly from here on out, we can talk about that.

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peachess
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Okay, thanks a lot Heather!
I've been feeling really panicked.
So seeing as this is the second time the condom has broken on us, we must be doing something wrong. We've switched the type.. could it be a size issue?

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Heather
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Not likely, per the size. The length of a condom can fit over an arm, you know?

So, let's check in:

When you or he are putting it on, is space always being left in the tip, around an inch? Pressing the air bubbles out?

Are you also using an extra lubricant with the condoms?

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peachess
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I'm not sure about the space, as he puts it on. And pressing the air bubbles out, how would you be sure there is no air?

we don't use an additional lubricant, but the condoms are usually lubricated.

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Heather
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Okay, so first thing, get a bottle of lube and use an additional lube. The lube on condoms is so little, and especially if you're on the pill, you'll usually need more.

When he puts it on, and you watch him, is he holding the tip between his fingers while he is rolling the rest down? Then, when it is rolled down, is he moving his fingers from the tip to the base? That's how you get air bubbles out.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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peachess
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Ok I'm going to show him that post for sure!! Because i've seen him do it so quickly without holding the tip at all.
should i use a spermicide, do you think?

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Heather
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Spermicides are actually not very effective (in typical use, they're the least effective of all methods): if you are using your pill properly, AND condoms properly, you have exceptionally high protection. But if you want to add one, that's okay, too.

The real trick is just that both pill and condom need to be used properly: in other words, that you need to do your level best not to miss pills, and he needs (as do you, after all, you should know, too) be sure he's learned to use condoms as best as they can be used.

So, here's a link with more on condom use you can share: Condom Basics: A User's Manual.

It might also help to tell him that it's good not to be in a rush when putting on a condom. Sometimes guys worry they'll lose erections if they don't hurry, but honestly, if he loses his erection, big whoop. He can get another one shortly or later. That's so no big deal compared to you all winding up with an accidental pregnancy.

And YOU learning to put the condoms on, too, can also help. In fact, if you're putting it on, he may find it more a part of sex -- plenty of people feel that way about a partner putting it on, since you're touching them when you do it -- so you can take more time with it. Know what I mean?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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peachess
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yes! Thats great. Thank you soooo much for your advice. Have a good evening:)
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peachess
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Hi again,
So I'm still very worried, because I've become constipated. Could this mean I am pregnant? I have 8 more bcp to take and then a week of "sugar pills".
I'm going to share a few more details for you, because I want to know if maybe they would affect my chances? eek. Umm okay so I am a recent cancer survivor and was on lupron, which suppressed my periods for about 1 year and a half, and i've been getting them again for a year now. Also, I have a cyst on one of my ovaries.

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Heather
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So glad to have you still with us in the world! Kudos to you and your body for surviving cancer.

That doesn't really impact any of this, though, save that should you become pregnant (which you most likely will not in this instance), if you were on the fence about what to do, you'd want to check in w/your doctor to see how any recent treatments for your cancer might impact a fetus or pregnancy.

Ovarian cysts also don't change the picture here.

People who aren't pregnant get constipated: looking for pregnancy symptoms early on is pretty much only effective at driving a person crazy. Early "symptoms" are not the way to try and tell if you're pregnant, a pregnancy test is. However, it's too early for that, so I'm afraid you're just going to have to wait things out.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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peachess
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Ok, so the waiting game it is. Oh man I really hope I'm not...
Thanks again.

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Heather
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Given you've used the pill correctly, please understand that it really is highly unlikely, okay?

I know the waiting game sucks: pretty much any of us who are female-bodied and who have had sex with men have been there. It's just how it goes sometimes.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Jill2000Plus
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I know this is a little off topic, but

Homer: And now we play the waiting game...

... oh the waiting game sucks, let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos!

You have my sympathy, I've never had sex, but I might do one day, and I have a huge fear of pregnancy, I think I'd deal, I've decided what I'd do, but it's still not a fun thought to have to deal with it.

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Always knock before entering my room when I am in there alone, as I may be doing all sorts of wonderfully thrilling things that I'd rather you didn't see.

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peachess
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hey again,
sooo.. i finished the last pill of my pack (before sugar pills starting tomorrow), but today I had pretty bad cramps and what seems like my period, only quite a bit darker. So is this my period, a few days early??

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peachess
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???????
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Karybu
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Sorry this got overlooked, peachess.

To answer your question, the bleeding you're experiencing could absolutely be your period. From your first post, it sounds like you took plan B last month? If so, that can definitely throw your cycle a bit out of whack, even when you're on hormonal birth control. Even without the plan B it's possible for a bit of variation to happen when you're on the pill.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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peachess
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Hi Karybu,
thanks. So it turned out to be my period.. Is it bad to get my period when I still had one pill to go? Could it mean my pill isn't as effective? I was wondering when I should start back up on the pills again, would it be Sunday? As I should be finished my period by tomorrow.

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peachess
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......??
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Karybu
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Getting your period early on the pill doesn't mean it isn't working for you. When that happens, you just continue to follow your pill schedule as you normally would - don't change anything about that.

--------------------
"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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peachess
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Okay, great, thanks.
Now I have one more sugar pill left( tomorrow), but I don't know when to start taking my pill. I'm on the 28 day pack (a week of sugar pills) and The pack instructs either to start on the first day of your cycle, 5th day, or the Sunday after your period has started. The Sunday would be today, is the first day of a cycle when you get your period??

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peachess
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If you could let me know ASAP that would be awesome!!!
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peachess
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?????
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Karybu
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Those instructions are only for when you're first starting the pill. Once you're on it, and you've completed one pack, you take the first pill of the next pack the day after you take the last sugar pill. So, you finish one pack and then start the next one. If your last sugar pill is tomorrow (Monday) you'd start your next pack on Tuesday. Make sense?

[ 02-07-2010, 09:00 PM: Message edited by: Karybu ]

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peachess
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yes, perfect! thank you so much for your help Karybu! Sorry for all of the questions... I'm pretty ignorant when it comes to this stuff.
Is it safe to have sex right now, in case of an accident? I mean.. can the sugar pills be protecting me?

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Karybu
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As long as you've been taking your pills properly, you're as protected during the sugar pills as you are during the active pills.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

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peachess
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Can you get your period and still be pregnant?
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Heather
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A woman can have vaginal bleeding and still be pregnant, but all vaginal bleeding is not a period. A period is expressly the shedding of uterine lining that happens because a pregnancy did NOT occur in a given cycle.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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peachess
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so if I had 5 days of bleeding, like a normal period, and cramps, etc. (i.e. normal symptoms) I am most likely not pregnant?
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Heather
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Yep. Especially if you are also using the pill correctly.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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peachess
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okay, thanks! I'm soo paranoid, I don't know whats wrong with me, I can't help it though. It kind of ruins the experience though, Because the whole time we're having sex I'm worrying. Thanks again though.
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Heather
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If that's the case -- you're worrying the whole time -- have you considered that it might just be too soon for you to have those kinds of sex?

In other words, have you considered stepping back and holding off on the kinds of sex that can create a pregnancy and sticking with the kinds you don't feel worried about for now?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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peachess
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HI, i posted this in a "new topic" but I hadn't yet received a response. could it have been over looked? Anyway, here it is again:

Hi there,
So i have been on the pill for over a year now, and had a scare several months ago because i hadnt been taking my pill properly and took plan b when a condom broke. since then, i've been really careful with my bf, always condoms and havent had any breaks, and ive been religious with my pill. My periods have been regular, but slightly lighter than usual. I got my period at the beginning of the month, and today, with a week and a half left of pills before my sugar pill week, i had cramps and what seems like my period. Why is this happening? Should i be worried? Thanks.

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