My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. The relationship is exclusive. Recently in health class, we've been discussing STI's and I've become a little concerned. My boyfriend and I do not have sexual intercourse, but have never used protection while participating in manual and oral sex. He engaged in oral sex once a few years ago, but a couple months before dating me he had been tested for STI's (he had no infections or diseases). Before dating him, I had not participated in any kind of sexual activity (even kissing). Lately I've been trying to convince him that we should use condoms/dental dams during oral sex, but he dislikes the idea.
Basically, my questions are: 1. Are we at risk for any STI's considering our situation? 2. How can I convince him that we should use protection during sexual activity? Is it even necessary?
Posts: 14 | From: DC | Registered: Jul 2008
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We always like to recommend some sort of barrier method during oral and manual sex UNLESS you are in a monogamous relationship with no history of STDs and each partner has had two negative STD screenings at least 6 mo apart.
Do you have a high risk of STD transmission, given what you've told us here? No, not really. But I can understand and appreciate your concern and need for safety.
It would not be a bad idea for YOU to get tested as well, and for you partner to be tested again, just for safety's sake...not to mention it may help you breath easier. If both of those are negative (which, to be honest, I expect them to be here) than it is truly up to you and your comfort level if you want to use a barrier method for oral and manual sex.
And honestly, if safety is a huge concern for you, than that's something you need to make clear and keep your foot firm on. No safety measures means no sex. While he may not share your concerns, he needs to respect them. If you want to compromise, however, I do suggest the second screening for him, and one for yourself as well.
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