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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » same old

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Author Topic: same old
Member # 26390

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Ok, for the umpteenth time over the last couple of years. Although I visited my gynecologist a while ago and found that my hymen and vagina are normal, my boyfriend and I still cannot have intercourse. I've read the "sex readiness" checklist a billion times, and the "ow to wow" article, and the post on whether penis size matters when breaking hymens. Believe me, arousal, relaxation and trust are not issues. Keep in mind this is not something we're trying to pressure. I'm 18 now, and we've been trying to have intercourse (off and on) since I was 16. So far we've been able to insert one finger comfortably, and I've been able to use a tampon, but the other day my boyfriend tried inserting two fingers and the pain was almost unbearable. He says he feels like his fingers are really stretching against the hymen, and considering the pain goes away when he gets past it with one finger, we're guessing the hymen's the reason for the discomfort. I come from a very catholic country, and hymenectomy is not an option for the doctors (to my frustration). We're not in a huge hurry to have intercourse, but we really would like to, but my boyfriend is really scared of hurting me, and I'm not that much of a fan of feeling so much pain every time we give it a try. We thought maybe if we got some numbing cream or something it would help. What can we do?
Posts: 410 | From: Dallas, TX | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Don't go with the numbing cream idea, for your own safety. I guarantee it would do more harm than good, and you could possibly end up with some serious injuries.

Pain is your body's way of saying something isn't right. So trying to go against that isn't really a great idea.

Have you thought about seeking a second opinion other than the one from your normal OB/GYN? If you're in a particularly religious area where opinions could be biased, you might want to see if someone else has anything different to say. No doctor should bring religious views into any sort of patient relationship, but obviously that isn't the case where you live.

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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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