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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Desire

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Author Topic: Desire
B-man
Neophyte
Member # 28644

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Hi

Is it possible that might not feel the sexual desire to masturbate, but when your with a girl have the desire to do stuff all night. What I mean is wouldnt the sign of not masturbating cause you dont feel like it show that you have a low sex drive or is it possible to only get the sex drive when your with a someone and not when your by yourself?

Thanks

Posts: 12 | From: JHB | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Masturbation and partnered sex are two different things.

So, often enough, someone might be able to have partnered sex, but might really only be in the mood to masturbate. Or, as you've experienced, might be in the mood for partnered sex, but not in the mood for masturbation.

In many ways, this is no different than, say, being in the mood for oral sex, but not intercourse.

Too, sexual activity -- masturbation or otherwise -- isn't always a good guage of someone's sex drive. Plenty of people with high libido abstain from partnered sex or masturbation for various reasons, despite their libido. Our libido doesn't dictate our actions or all of why we do or don't want to have any sort of sex.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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bluefreak44
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I never had much of a desire to masturbate, and still don't. To me, sex was about more than pleasure.

I desired intimacy, to share something intimate with another person. Maybe you just have similar feelings.

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B-man
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Yes I think ur rite. Thanks for the input!
Posts: 12 | From: JHB | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Just so it's clear, to a lot of people, masturbation is about more than physical pleasure as well. Infants, for instance, often mastiurbate for self-comfort, and many adults do same. For many people, masturbation is about SELF intimacy, about stress reduction, relaxation, getting in touch with one's body, about lack on inhibition, the works. For plenty, it's a sexual sort of meditation.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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