posted
Whats the best way to start a convo about sex with someone, like i want to talk about sex with a friend who is a girl, (not my g/f) but i just can't think of a good way to go into the subject. But in general is there a good way to do it or i'm i just outta luck?
p.s. This is my first post here!
Posts: 3 | From: Hudsonville, MI | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
I'm not sure I understand what you're asking.
Do you have a sexual relationship and have things that need discussing? Is this a platonic friend you just want to talk about sex in general to, as friends do? Is this someone you want to initiate a sexual relationship with, and if so, is she interested in that?
Posts: 63406 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Its just a friend that i want to talk about sex with, i'm not lookin to start a relationship with her i just want to talk about sex stuff in general with her
Posts: 3 | From: Hudsonville, MI | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Ultimately, that sort of conversation with platonic friends just tends to happen pretty naturally and organically. And if you're both heterosexual, know that forcing the issue could very much come across the wrong way, so if you're male, your best bet may just be to leave that ball in her court.
Unless you've been friends a long time, or your galpal has a lot of male close friends, chances are good your friend may be more comfortable discussing sex with her female friends.
Posts: 63406 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Ok, yea we are both heterosexual (spelling?) and we've been friends for awhile but yea.......i was just wondering if there was a good way. Its almost impossible to talk about this kinda stuff w/ guys......and i've just been really curious about the girl things lately and i figured it best to get the info from a girl but whatever.....thanks for ur help
Posts: 3 | From: Hudsonville, MI | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
Well, since all women differ in personal preferences, talking about sex with one woman tells you about... that one women.
Otherwise, general information on things like female anatomy, orgasm and the like? You can get them most accurately -- and with a minimum of social weirdness -- at sites like this, in reliable books at your local library, from your doctor, etc.
Posts: 63406 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
While i agree w/ the openness and honesty thing, i think you need to remember that a lot of people see issues regarding their sexuality as personal and private.
I would seriously consider why you feel you need this information and what you think her reaction might be.
posted
probly the best way to start a convo about sex with your female friend is to simply ASK her if she minds if you ask her a question about it (i.e."hey, do you mind if i ask you something a sex, i want a female's perspective on the subject, and i feel comfortable asking you. if you dont feel comfortable talking about it, okay, and i'm sorry for bringing it up.") if you two have a "comfortably open" friendship/relationiship she MOST LIKELY wont mind. but as stated in previous replies...everyon is different.
Posts: 3 | From: Michigan, USA | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
not to contradict the "sexpert" here, but...the only REAL "necessity" for this information is to educate one's self and satisfy curiousty, beyond that, no futher consideration is needed based upon the "need" of the information. if we're afraid to ask, we are afraid to learn. i was once told by someone (a doctor to be specific) "always question everything"...so far (in my experience), he's right.
Posts: 3 | From: Michigan, USA | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
I absolutely hear you there (and hey: everyone here is always allowed and encouraged to question anything, including us, so there's no need to tiptoe around having an alternate opinion, especially with something that clearly is opinion. )
But I think it's wise to also consider another person's comfort, privacy and trust with stuff like this, not just one's own wants. Satisfying curiosity isn't actually a necessity, especially when there are many (and usually far more reliable) sources to get information about women's sexuality from.
We live in a culture in which adolescent women are pretty much whacked in the face with sex and the world seeing them as sexual everywhere they turn, and given the clear message that even the boys who they call platonic friends, close friends, are really only out to get in their pants. It's often hard, as a teenage girl, to deal with all that crud all the time, and hetero male-female friendships can be precarious in that regard.
But the way you've suggested he asks seems to fit the bill decently in that regard.
[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 12-05-2005).]
Posts: 63406 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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