Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » OUCH!!!

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: OUCH!!!
Sachan
Neophyte
Member # 26275

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Sachan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So I just started having sex for the first time with my boyfriend about two weeks ago... and it never stopped hurting.
He's fairly large (at least in my estimation), and the first time we tried we couldn't get more than an inch of his penis in.
The next time I tried to be more relaxed and we used a LOT of lube, and it worked better... but hurt a lot more than I imagined.

Since then, it hasn't stopped hurting. I keep expecting it to get better, but it hasn't. We've tried more foreplay, lube, going slow, different positions... and it's just pain, pain, pain.
I went to my doctor, who said that I probably had a UTI and gave me antibiotics. He said that was why it hurt, but when he gave me an exam he said he felt part of my hymen still intact.
His advice was just to have a lot of sex and maybe try to "stretch myself out" with that or masturbation.

I'm not really sure what to do... I don't know if the pain is from my hymen still being there and if I should just grit my teeth and deal with the pain until it wears down from sex or what.

Sorry, this was the longest post EVER, I'm just hoping someone can help!
Thank you so much for reading -- if you have any advice it would be greatly appreciated!


Posts: 23 | From: IL | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think you need a better gynecologist who won't give you such outmoded information.

The hymen -- when it is present -- is JUST BARELY inside the vaginal opening, attached JUST behind the sides of that opening. You can see for yourself by yourself with a hand mirror.

IF part of the hymen is still present, it will stretch over time, no problem. And a partial hymen should not be causing so much pain. At this point, anticipating the pain is likely the biggest culprit.

What I'd suggest instead?

- Give yourselves a break from "trying." Do other sexual activities instead for a while, and when things like manual sex with a couple fingers starts feeling really good, then start thinking about intercourse again.
- When you ARE there, try having an orgasm first, before intercourse. That'll not only assure your muscles are seriously relaxed, you'll be aroused and the enorphins are a natural helper with any discomfort.

And do get a bonafide gynecologist.


Posts: 67161 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sachan
Neophyte
Member # 26275

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Sachan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Heh, I really wasn't a fan of the doctor I saw... my usual gynecologist was out of town so I just made an appointment with someone else.

Good to hear that I shouldn't just "have sex until it stops hurting," because that didn't sound like a fun plan for me.

I think putting off more intercourse for awhile sounds like a good plan... my boyfriend has been very, very understanding and sensitive about this whole situation so he should be just fine with that.

Thank you so much for your advice!!


Posts: 23 | From: IL | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3