You know, approaching any sort of sexual activity like a Napoleon ("I WILL conquer the penis/clitoris! I claim it for France!") generally isn't a good idea. Whether or not a partner ejaculates or reaches orgasm from one given activity should NOT be that big of a deal: after all, it isn't like money to pay your mortgage comes out or anything.Are YOU enjoying yourself during oral sex? Is your partner enjoying how it feels to him? if so, that's all that matters: good sex is process, not product. You should not be feeling anger because your partner isn't reaching orgasm from something. Not only do you not wanting to be bringing hostility and resentment into your sex, it's just unreasonable. Again, your partner's genitals aren't an empire to conquer.
So, best way to fix it? Adjust your attitude. If this is what you're bringing to bed, I can promise, orgasm from this thing or that one or not, that you will BOTH have far better sex without it.
(As an aside: someone reaching orgasm from oral sex with but a few minutes of that activity alone would be an incredibly short amount of time for an adult to do so. I mean, can YOU reach orgasm that quickly from oral sex? Doubtful. That's one reason why combining activities tends to be a better bet, both for your partner and for your jaw.)
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Heather Corinna
Editor & Founder, Scarleteen
ST blog • about Heather & Scarleteen
"You have to love women who are brave enough to do things so big in a world where women are supposed to be so small." - Andrea Dworkin
[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 11-11-2005).]