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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » I can't get it up while making out with my girlfriend

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Author Topic: I can't get it up while making out with my girlfriend
BFG
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Member # 26098

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Hello everyone, I need your valuble help and experience. I was with my girlfriend today and we were making out on my bed and she was only in her panties and a top and i didn't get a hard on. I got really embarresed since she was a bit dissapointed i thought. What is the problem with me?!? I know im straight and even if i might sub-consciencely not love this girl i should still get a hard on. I mean i normaly don't have problems getting a hard on. Please help me.
Posts: 1 | From: Switzerland | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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The expectation that you will ALWAYS get an erection from partnered contact, always become even aroused, is really unrealistic.

It becomes even more so the older you get, too.

Sometimes, for various reasons -- stress, illness, feeling tired, having something else on your mind, hormonal shifts, dietary or excercise changes, you name it -- it's just not going to happen, just like your girlfriend won't always have her clitoris get hard or her vagina lubricate even though she's liking being with you, wanting to sexually perform.

And that has zippo to do with sexual orientation or love. That's just basic physiology.

So, nothing's wrong with you: you're human, not a machine.

There's also no reason for her to be disapointed. Not only is intercourse or penile sex but one of MANY kinds of sex -- many of which are often more satisfying to most women than intercourse alone -- your erection shouldn't be seen as some sort of unit of measurement (no pun intended) for her sex appeal.

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Heather Corinna
Editor & Founder, Scarleteen
ST blog • about Heather & Scarleteen
"You have to love women who are brave enough to do things so big in a world where women are supposed to be so small." - Andrea Dworkin


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