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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » I'm really nervous!! =)

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Author Topic: I'm really nervous!! =)
sanblonewakeboardingchick
Neophyte
Member # 26046

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Ok so I'm in 8th grade (turned 14 few weeks ago) and I've been dating this 9th grader for about a month. I try not to have a bad girl image, but I do, so everyone at school thinks that I have done it twice in 7th grade, but I'm really a virgin. My boyfriend thinks I have too and he told me before he had done it once. We were talkin on the phone the other night and he finally came clean and told me he was a virgin. I was SOOOOOO happy becuase then I wasn't so nervous. Now we are planning on having sex soon. Even though I fell 20x less nervouse no knowing he is a virgin because I am, it will be easier. But all his friends are telling me I'm too young because I'm not in high school yet, but my bf and I know we love eachother as much as we would if we were older. So I think I'm gonna but should I or should I not. I know me and him are gonna be the ones to make the final decision but I would like to hear all your guy's views first, because a lot of you are good at giving advice and actually know what you are talking about! =)

~Sonia

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"What's my age again, what's my age again?"- Most kick a$$ Blink 182 song!


Posts: 2 | From: Lake Travis, TX, United States | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Beppie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 94

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(I'm assuming that when you talk about sex you mean heterosexual penis-in-vagina intercourse-- otherwise known as coitus-- although the term "sex" can refer to activities such as oral, manual and anal sex).

Bear in mind that the age of consent in Texas is 17, and while we here at Scarleteen may not agree with certain laws, we don't condone breaking them either. While your boyfriend is also under the age of consent right now, if you are still together in a few years, and he is over it and you are under it, there is a chance he could be convicted on a statutory rape charge (which would mean, among other things, that he would have to register as a sex offender in many places).

As you say, however, ultimately it is you and he who will be making the decision, and here at Scarleteen we have several articles designed to help you make decisions such as these:

Ready or Not-- The Sex Readiness Checklist
First Intercourse 101
Safe, Sound and Sexy-- a guide to safer sex

You will notice that all of these articles stress the importance of using condoms (with water based lube), and having available health services for STD/STI checks and pap smears. (Remember that just because an disease CAN be transmitted sexually, it doesn't mean that that is the ONLY means of transmission, so even if neither of you have had sexual partners before, three is still a risk.)

Lastly, it's always a good idea to remember that if you have a little voice in your head saying "maybe now is not the time for partnered sex," then that little voice tends to be right. You've got the rest of your life to explore partnered sex, after all.


Posts: 2710 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
thestranger
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Member # 26004

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In all honesty, if I were you I would wait. I know you feel like you both love each other like theres no tomorrow, I completely understnad that feeling. but since your only in 8th grade you should definitly wait. dont base your relationship on whether you've had sex yet or not. im not going to tell you that sex isnt important because for obvious reasons it is, but at such a young age, it could easily destroy your relationship. ive seen it way too many times throughout high school, and its so depressing.

If you both truly loved each other it is definitly worth the wait! From personal experiences I can tell you this as a fact. If my girlfriend and I had sex earlier than we did I dont know what it would be like now, from seeing what has happened to other people, I couldnt bear that happen to me. But we waited for the right amount of time, and picked the perfect romantic moment and it makes the first time soo much better. I guarantee you dont want to break your "virginity" to someone when your in 8th grace and have your relationship go sour. (i'm also not saying it definitly will, but I wouldnt risk it if I were you)


I hope ytou read this and put it into consideration what i'm saying, but in the end its your decision. do as you wish and i hope all ends good for you and your boyfriend.


Posts: 7 | From: manahawkin | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sanblonewakeboardingchick
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Member # 26046

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Thanks so much for your help. I have thought all along about how everytime I see him after we have sex, it will be very awkward and to me like you could cut the tension with a knife. Especially if I'm around other people when I'm with him. Truthfully, I am afraid that he will think of our relationship over because we have done it all, and then he might feel the need to move on to another girl. I would fell crushed and then start blaming myself like I did something wrong. So I think I'm gonna wait. He probably wants to too. I fell a lot better now. =)

------------------
"What's my age again, what's my age again?"- Most kick a$$ Blink 182 song!


Posts: 2 | From: Lake Travis, TX, United States | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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