Hey recently ive been thinking that i really want to 'get sexual' with my boyfriend, if that doesnt explain it, I dont mean i want sex with him yet, but id like to try some of the foreplay things, and yes i know its all part of a sexual relationship but i feel ready... its just working out the timing and how do do it and where thats bothering me... see my friends have asked him and he says if i feel ready and want to he will do whatever... thing is hes almost 16 and im 14 so is this wrong in any way and can anything happen to him? How do i bring it up with him, i know i cant ask for tips or anything but any 'advice' would help...
Posts: 97 | From: Uk | Registered: Dec 2004
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Check age of consent laws. I think any kind of sexual activity falls under those. And I doubt that if someone was to actually use the law against you (like if your parents don't want you having sex and they were to walk in), that he or she would differentiate much between oral sex, manual sex, penis-in-vagina intercourse, etc. So check!
As for bringing things up with your partner, I'd just ask. And don't involve your friends or have them ask for you, unless you're in some kind of triangle relationship, the whole messenger business is a bit immature.
Just start off by saying, "What do you think about sex?" or "I've been thinking about trying out ________ with you, what do you think?" It's really much easier to just say it instead of dance around the edge of a subject. Pick a time when you're alone and both able to talk for a bit.
If you can handle having a mature, frank discussion about sex, protection, emotional readiness, communication during the act, what you'd do if anything went wrong, etc. you should be ready to actually do the things you talked about.
If you feel uncomfortable talking about it, though, maybe you should take a step back and see whether this is what you really want to be doing. Should you be having sex when you can't say to your partner, "I want you to do _______," or "stop, that hurts" or "try doing...." ? You just need to muster up the courage. And it gets easier to talk about. In the meantime, look around on the main site and read the articles. They're a good source of info.
Posts: 640 | From: The Valley of the Sun, AZ, USA | Registered: May 2004
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You're still very young and you don't need to rush in to being sexually active if you're not completely ready because from what it sounds like, you aren't.
You make think you're ready just because you WANT to be sexual with your boyfriend, but like faifai said, if you can't have a mature discussion about sex, thats a pretty good indicator that you're not ready.
I've been in the same boat as you, and ended up doing things that I wasn't completely ready for, even though I thought I was, and it really sucked. So really, just wait it out until you feel completely comfortable talking about sex with your partner, and you won't have to worry so much about 'timing' and 'how to do' certain things.
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