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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Fingering...

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-Silver-
Neophyte
Member # 25612

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I realize that oral and anal are actual forms of sex, but would fingering be considered "sex"? Why or why not? Please give me as much info as you can, I'm at a bit of a crossroads with my relationship.

Also, if anyone could give me advice on preparing for that...ex. clipping pubic hair or what-not (I'm a girl).


Posts: 1 | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PERVasive
Activist
Member # 25065

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I personally consider "sex" to include any partnered explicitly sexual activity, be it cybering, fingering, or intercourse. What most people call sex I call intercourse, because to me that's just one available option, and at this point one I'm not interested in. So when people ask me if I have had sex, I say "yes, but not intercourse" or something like that.

I do somewhat heirarchize sexual activities in terms of intimacy, based largely on the body parts involved, and I would definitely consider anal and vaginal intercourse to be much more intimate than any kind of oral stimulation, and certainly more than manual stimulation. In terms of your relationship, I'd say don't worry about categorizing activities as "sex" or "not really sex," but think more specifically about what you are willing to do and what you aren't. There are numerous "checklists" of sexual activities elsewhere on the web that I sometimes helpful for this, but they are probably too explicit to post here. I hope that was helpful !

As to pubic hair, I personally don't really care, but I know a lot of guys do, so really you should ask your partner (I'm sure plenty of other people here will lecture you about how you shouldn't shave it if you don't want to, so I won't, and I have a feeling this is more what you were looking for). I know one guy from camp who broke up with his girlfriend because she didn't shave her pubic hair, and then he complained about her being "shallow". We got a good laugh out of that one!

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- PERVasive

"Don't let your schooling get in the way of your education." - Mark Twain


Posts: 64 | From: Boston, MA | Registered: Aug 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

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One thing to keep in mind--in your brain, an orgasm is an orgasm, regardless of how it is achieved. Oral, manual, anal, or otherwise.

PERvasive gave a very good rundown on the pubic hair thing. Basically, do what's right for you.

In the mean time, check out these articles. They'll be of great help.

First Intercourse 101
Orgasm and Sexual Response
Ready or Not?
Safe, Sound…And Sexy!


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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