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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » curious again :(

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Author Topic: curious again :(
mscurious
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Member # 25393

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My partner and I been together for 6months, as past few months I notice that my partner is not already exciting to sex thing. We keep arguing about that topic coz I felt that he is much more likely love to masturbate himself than to make love with me. Sometime I do catch him masturbating while watching some porno movie. Do u think that we have a problem? Is this normal? I am 24y.o and my husband is 36y.o. I admit it, I really like sex but my partner I feel that he’s not coz I keep inviting him to make love to me but he said he is tired, we do sex its like 2x or 3x a week. Advice please I am curious …
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Heather
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Two or three times a week isn't scanty, especially for couples who have been together a while, especially those who marry. As well, normal adults will have established patterns of masturbation well before their mid-thrities. masturbation is different than partnered sex: it isn't a replacement, nor can partnered sex replace it. So, don't take that as some sort of slight -- it isn't about you.

Do you masturbate yourself? If not, understand that a partner isn't there to answer another's every sexual urge. partnered sex is also about intimacy. If your libido simply needs more release, rather than more intimacy. then you should check in with yourself to be sure you're also tending to your own needs, rather than looking to a partner to do so for you.

That may or may not be the case: if it isn't, by all means, communicate. But just do understand that, again, everyone masturbates and it's healthy and normal and partnership doesn't make the desire to do so vanish AND that you do want to be sure your expectations are reasonable per the frequency of sex in a long-term partnership.


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