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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Premature ejaculation?

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Author Topic: Premature ejaculation?
Member # 24062

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I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and we started having sex 2 months ago and it never lasts for over a minute. I even timed it secretly once and it lasted 33 seconds, his quickness doesn't bother him at all, but it takes pleasure away from me. We have tried many different positions, but nothing seems to help. I've tried foreplay with him, but that only makes him more excited and he ejaculates much faster and refuses to have sex until hours later. I thought premature ejaculation was only a thing older people had trouble with and we are only 15. Please help me I'm not sure if I should break up with him and he isn't helping much to solve this problem.
Posts: 1 | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 21345

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Instead of you doing foreplay on him...Why not he do it on you? You might get more pleasure. Then proceed with intercourse. Talk to your boyfriend about this. Tell him you don't seem to get much time for pleasure.
Posts: 51 | From: florida | Registered: Dec 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Breaking up with him over something so minor is a pretty selfish thing to consider. Premature ejaculation isn't just something that affects
"old men". It's actual not too uncommon for teenage and young males to experience it too.

Communication is one of the most important pieces of a relationship, and that includes sex. It doesn't sound like this is happening here. Talk to your boyfriend. Explain to him what you just said here. Sex is supposed to be fun for both of you, not just him. There is not reason why you can't continue pleasuring eachother after he ejaculates. Come up with some things you can try and experiment a little.

Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 23654

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i had that problem when i was 15-16 well i didnt have sex every day for a whole year now im 17 now. and its been good sex for me. the problem with me was that I would in mind think how i want to do it and it would excit me so much that when i would penetrate i would do it so fast and with sex on my mind that not even i knew what i was doing. so what i did after that becasue i would finish i less that 20 seconds =\ i would concentrate on other things. like if my mom catches us in the sofa or things like that. i know silly but hey it worked and when i would masturbate, well i would climax but then i would stop and take a breather star very slow and would breathe and let air out. hes problem is he gets tooo excited for himself. so i know whats hes going threw now the longest i have lasted and yes i had a clock in the place and the longest for me was 48 mins with foreplay wich i wont lie was about 15 mins.. hope that helps.
Posts: 119 | From: Chmblee,GA | Registered: May 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 19419

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I don't think there is such a thing as "premature ejaculation" problem. Just because you weren't ready for it, doesn't it make it pre-ejaculatory for him, it's just how you see it.

Considering breaking up with him because of something like this is selfish and means you probably aren't mature enough to handle something as serious as sexual intercourse with your partner.

But, if it really does bother you that much and if you want to make the relationship work (since a good number of women don't orgasm from penetration aways) having him do something that you like and get you to orgasm before sex if you feel so dissatisfied and disappointed in this "problem".

Posts: 38 | From: Albany, Ny | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Just to make clear: what you're posting about is 100% normal for a 15 year old male.

It is developmental, and often, nothing young men can have all that much control over. And for men of any age? It's actually common once intercourse begins for it to only take a few minutes to orgasm, though like any average, there are men who "last" shorter times and those who do for far longer.

But it is MORE common for there to be shorter times with adolescent men than older men: by the time adolescent men get into their twenties, they often maintain erection during sexual activities for even ten to twenty times as long as they did as teens.

So, this isn't a "problem," it's a normal physiological reality. But if the problem for YOU is that after that you still don't feel finished with sex or haven't reached orgasm, that is very easy to fix: simply ask that other sexual activities continue until you DO feel satisfied. As a user mentioned, you'll want to develop that habit anyway with male partners, since intercourse alone, no matter how long it lasts, is generally not all a majority of women need to reach orgasm anyway.

(One more thing? If you're making him feel in any way this is a problem, the pressure from that is likely actually making it worse and more pronounced, so.)

Heather Corinna
Editor & Founder
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 17180

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Well, i have a short ejaculation time such as 5 minutes, but, after he goes is he done, because i usually just put on another condom and i can go for hours after that...then again im
Posts: 18 | From: lasvegas,NV,USA | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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