Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » how much pain?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: how much pain?
pinkmoonlight
Neophyte
Member # 20149

Icon 1 posted      Profile for pinkmoonlight     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I know you no one will be able to answer this EXACTLY but if people could share their experiences, it would be helpful and insightful to me...

Will it still hurt me my first time if my boyfriend has fingered me many times and if I'm completely aroused and not nervous or anxious at all? Like throughout some of the posts, I've been reading that it's best to have sex only when you're fully aroused and not scared or anything, then it won't hurt as much...did I interpret that right?

If girls could share their experiences, like how much it hurt when you first had sex if you were completely comfortable and turned on...I would like to know.

Thank you!


Posts: 15 | From: Canada | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MarvellousPurple
Activist
Member # 8776

Icon 1 posted      Profile for MarvellousPurple     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
What you'll find, I think, is that for some people, the first time they had PIV (penis-in-vagina) intercourse was quite painful, for some it wasn't at all, and some fall in-between. If you're not nervous, fully aroused, using extra lubricant, you'll likely find it much more comfortable. And it's really always best to have sex only when you're fully aroused--I mean, if you're not aroused, why have sex?

Personally, the first time I had PIV intercourse was a little uncomfortable, probably because I was a little nervous since I'd heard it hurt. But really, your mileage may vary--a lot.

Some extra reading:
Is that all there is? A memoir of first-time-sex 17 years in the making
Ready or Not? The infamous sex readiness checklist

------------------
I wish I was in Tijuana
Eating barbecued iguana


Posts: 475 | From: Back in Providence, RI | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
pinkmoonlight
Neophyte
Member # 20149

Icon 1 posted      Profile for pinkmoonlight     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
"And it's really always best to have sex only when you're fully aroused--I mean, if you're not aroused, why have sex?"

haha, ok, obviously....I didn't really mean it to sound like you should have sex if you're not aroused...but anyway, thank you for your advice, it was helpful!


Posts: 15 | From: Canada | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fille_francaise
Activist
Member # 20075

Icon 1 posted      Profile for fille_francaise     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
With my experience, my first time hurt...but not to the point where I couldn't take it. & I found that after the first 2 times of us havign sex, I bled a little. & that was even after he'd been fingering me & everything. I've never heard the "being aroused" technique...frankly, I don't think that has anything to do with pain. But, maybe you know something I don't.

But yes, it will hurt...expect some bleeding ((not too much of course, just dots...& you know, you may not even bleed. It varies...)) & also, expect some soreness in the morning. But it should be fine for you. =)


E♥

------------------
Amor Vincit Omnia :: Love Conquers ALL Things.


Posts: 138 | From: Southern California, USA | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

Icon 1 posted      Profile for logic_grrl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
I've never heard the "being aroused" technique...frankly, I don't think that has anything to do with pain.

It's not some obscure special "technique" - just basic facts about the human body and how it works.

Check out:

Sexual Response and Orgasm: A User's Guide

If you're not sexually aroused, your body won't be ready to have intercourse comfortably (your vagina won't be relaxed or lubricated, for a start), which makes pain much more likely.

And frankly, if you're not sexually aroused, you're not going to be physically desiring intercourse anyway.

It's like eating when you're really not hungry - it's not going to make you feel good, and why would you want to do it anyway?


Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alymb03
Neophyte
Member # 19966

Icon 1 posted      Profile for alymb03     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Personally, my first time hurt like crazy. I've been fingered and used tampons before too. Fully aroused as far as I can tell, maybe a teeny bit nervous (cuz after all, it was my first time!) but not enough that I feel it made a big difference. I hurt a LOT and I bled a lot too, not just "dots" as the person above described. But most girls I know say it hurt just a little or not at all, so who knows?
Posts: 23 | From: NY | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
xgravitygirlx
Neophyte
Member # 19783

Icon 1 posted      Profile for xgravitygirlx     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I know this is going to sound *REALLY* cool and responsible.

I was drunk as all get out my first time, so of course, I didn't feel a THING. [[ nor do I really remember ]]

I *DO NOT* recommend you get wasted for your first time or anything like that...because it'd be much better if you remembered it and felt all special and wonderful afterwards. I felt pretty great, I didn't hurt the next day....and honestly, you feel no different when it's all said and done with. I mean, I ran to the mirror the next morning and was looking at my face, trying to see if I looked more "womanly" or "grown up."

I didn't. I was still the short, 5 foot nothing, 100 pound blonde I'd always been. I was like, "Pssh. So. This is it. Wow. Big deal."

It really does make you say "Is that all there is?"

But good luck, and I hope everything works out. <3


Posts: 18 | From: Georgia, USA | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
dickiesdike
Activist
Member # 18354

Icon 1 posted      Profile for dickiesdike     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It really depends on the type of girl .. My first time it didnt hurt at all..... In fact he was move nevorus then i was so i was the one doing things .... Like the other girl I looked at myself in the mirror after it was al over and didnt look any different and to be honset make sure it with someone special because it wasnt that good for me do to the fact i had no feelings for him..... anymore.... and becareful who you have sex with cause people talk alot ( well around here they do ) and you can get a bad rep
Posts: 46 | From: west palm beach fl | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DiamondDog
Neophyte
Member # 20276

Icon 4 posted      Profile for DiamondDog     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My first time was interesting. At first, it hurt A LOT. So much that we stopped for a little while and had to try again. It still hurt, and it went something like this: push- ouch- withdraw, push farther- ouch- withdraw, so on and so forth. Once he was fully inside me, it didn't hurt any more. Then it was kinda fun. I didn't bleed at all (which surprised me). Just relax and go slow, and everything will be fine.
Posts: 20 | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jaysee
Neophyte
Member # 19536

Icon 1 posted      Profile for jaysee     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My experience went pretty much like DiamondDog's- in ouch out a bit in again...- and it hurt a lot. With the whole arousal thing (obviously a good idea) I found that because I'd been with my bf for over a year and we'd been setting up for this for about 6 weeks (getting on pill, waiting for me to come back from a family holiday etc.) but I was still really scared (I don't know why and I didn't then) which I'm sure didn't help the pain thing and even stopped me from feeling aroused even though I was- what I'm trying to say is don't hang it all up on the first time, if it hurts then wait a bit and give it another go... practice makes perfect!
Posts: 26 | From: Victoria, Australia | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

Icon 3 posted      Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Y'know, my first time receiving manual sex did hurt. Why? because I was a naive teenager who didn't know what the hell was going on. I wasn't even smart enough to tell him, "Don't stick your hand there! I don't like that!"

When I did get around to trying it with someone I did like, we hadn't thought about *lube*, and it burned for a few days afterwards, and i spotted blood. I was badly chafed.

Sex was different. It didn't hurt. Why? because I had lube, and I was ready. Luckily, by the time I got around to actual sexual intercourse, I had learned about things like lube and sexual response. Granted, I was no expert the first few tries, my start wasn't a bad one.

------------------
LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sparklebubble
Neophyte
Member # 19331

Icon 12 posted      Profile for Sparklebubble     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
My first time was great. I was in love with my boyfriend and we had the room covered in candles with music and everything. He had already fingered me many times before, but I was still worried I would be tight. We went really slowly and he was just as nervous as me, if not more. I was completely aroused and we had lube as well. I didn't feel any pain, only a little discomfort. I was really surprised. I didn't bleed at all either. As we went along I got more comfortable and the discomfort even went away. We made love for hours that night. It was a great experience.
Posts: 12 | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3