Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » do i have to use it?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: do i have to use it?
*hopelesslydevoted*
Neophyte
Member # 15619

Icon 1 posted      Profile for *hopelesslydevoted*     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
K, next weekend me and my boyfriend are going to see each other, and we have been talking a lot about anal sex and are thinking about doing it... We have been talking about it for around a year now and we're ready to try it. The thing is, we aren't sure if we need to use lube. Because he has.. well.. put his finger in before and he said it wasnt really dry (maybe because i had dripped down into it:S) So my question is, can we just use a condom and be ok? Or do we have to use lube for sure? I tried lookin in a search but i couldnt find anything so im so sorry if its here already:S.. if anyone knows id appreciate the advie thanks!
Posts: 16 | From: On, Can | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KittenGoddess
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

Icon 1 posted      Profile for KittenGoddess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
YES...lube is good.

Here's the deal, no matter how much you lubricate on your own, it's not going to stand up to the latex condom. Latex (especially when friction is involved) dries up natural lube incredibly fast. Which makes it less comfortable AND really really makes your condom more likely to break.

Oh...sorry, I missed the fact that you said anal sex...

(What I said above is still valuable, so I'll leave it there) It's even more important that you use lube for anal sex. The anus is not self lubricating...not at all. And latex still dries up any natural vaginal lubrication that might have migrated into the area. So skipping the lube puts you at risk for discomfort, tearing of your tissues, AND condom failure.

So really, skipping the lube is a bad idea on alot of levels. Lube is really great stuff, and really necessary for all sexual activity.

------------------
Sarah Liz
Scarleteen Sexpert (and Labia Lady)


Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

Icon 1 posted      Profile for logic_grrl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
In fact, the rule people often give for any sort of anal sexual activity is that you should take the amount of lube you think you need, then double it. At least.

Lube is not something you should even be considering skipping here .

And if you decide you do want to try anal sex, then make sure you communicate continuously, relax, go gradually and gently (if penetration with a finger isn't comfortable, penetration with a penis certainly won't be), and stop the microsecond anything hurts.


Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just to be perfectly clear: the anus cannot self-lubricate. It just doesn't, same way you can't talk with your ears.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
*hopelesslydevoted*
Neophyte
Member # 15619

Icon 1 posted      Profile for *hopelesslydevoted*     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
thanks guys! ill for sure take your advice
Posts: 16 | From: On, Can | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Olive
Activist
Member # 8964

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Olive     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I have tried anal sex and I had lube, but it must not have been enough, let me tell you. It was very very painful and I started to cry. I am not trying that again till I am absolutely sure I want it and there is more than plenty of lube.
Posts: 338 | From: Livermore, CA | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
AngstCigarettes
Neophyte
Member # 15771

Icon 1 posted      Profile for AngstCigarettes     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
The first time I tried anal sex, lube was a must. Even with lube, it was initially pretty painful, especially if you're really not all that sure about what the sensations are going to be like when you try it.

...of course, I don't think many people are bizarre like me and enjoy pain, so...

------------------
~The Divine Phoenix~

"One must feel the universe in order to comprehend it." -Oni


Posts: 4 | From: Rio Rancho, NM USA | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

Icon 1 posted      Profile for logic_grrl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:
I have tried anal sex and I had lube, but it must not have been enough, let me tell you.

Enough lube can prevent pain caused by friction - but there are plenty of other reasons why anal intercourse might be painful, such as not being relaxed, going too fast, trying to "force" anything past tense muscles, etc.

All the lube in the world won't magically cure those.

That's why it's vital to stop if anything is painful (even if you enjoy pain, AngstCigarettes) - pain is your body's signal that something is wrong, and the tissues of the anus and rectum are very delicate and easily torn.


Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
*hopelesslydevoted*
Neophyte
Member # 15619

Icon 1 posted      Profile for *hopelesslydevoted*     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
ya im for sure going to use it after everyones advice. We are very comfortable about trying this and have talked about it a lot and for sure if there is any pain i will stop. Thanks again to everyone!
Posts: 16 | From: On, Can | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3