My problem is my sex drive. While with my boyfriend it makes such a drop from when im back home/on my own. For example, before i came over to him i would feel reasonably sexually active, feeling the need to masturbate every day. Ever since I came over here it has become almost non-existent! I can go for days/weeks without even wanting to masturbate or receive any sexual pleasure from my boyfriend or from myself. My boyfriend has a high sex drive and so this takes its toll on him especially as we still havent managed to have intercourse (a problem thats been with us from day one) but he's accepted that ok and wont try to initiate it. He does however want oral a lot (everyday) i dont know how common it is for partners to give oral 3 times a day everyday (and thats his demands, if i do that then afterwards we can do things i like, like movies etc), but for me its a chore. In fact I've become so fed up with it i havent given him anything in 3 days and everytime i refuse he gets grouchy. He even gets grouchy when i refuse to recieve oral from him, which he keeps offering. I just don't feel like it.

I dont know whats wrong with me, I know this is a rare case (well in my experience) for a guy to be so willing to give oral and to actually be quite good at it and for the girl to just refuse. When i do accept, it's just to make him happy. Same when i agree to give him oral. I hate being like this.

I don't like giving him oral for more than one reason tho, not just because my sex drive is low but also because his penis is quite big, length isn't the problem but girth is, and i usually have a sore mouth afterwards. Also it has this smell to it, it's probably the natural scent but it really is strong and foul. Even if you clean it the smell will go for an hour or so then return, so i guess that all adds up to my reluctance to give oral.

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He does however want oral a lot (everyday) i dont know how common it is for partners to give oral 3 times a day everyday (and thats his demands, if i do that then afterwards we can do things i like, like movies etc), but for me its a chore.

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big red flag, hon. the two of you can't do anything else until you perform oral sex for him? sexual activity should take place because both partners are ready, willing, and enjoying themselves, not because one demands it.

to me, it sounds like you guys just need to have a good, open conversation about your sex life, because it sounds like it might be causing problems. sometimes peoples' sex drives are just naturally lower, and it doesn't mean that anything is wrong, just that you're not as horny this month. it's totally normal.

i would definitely stop having oral sex with him just to make him happy--think about it: if it's "just a chore" for you, then it's going to consistently be associated with that for you. i hope that made sense. i'm very serious about you not having sex unless you want to; he's got a hand, he can masturbate.

and about the penis smell: have you both been tested for STDs? a bad smell can be indicative of something wrong. if you have and you're both clear, try using flavored condoms for oral sex when you want.

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it is not healthy for anyone to have sex when they don't want to, or to have sex solely for the purpose of making someone else happy. {...}In other words, when we are sexually involved with a partner, it should be for more reasons than because we're sexually frustrated or, plainly, just want to get off. Those are times we need to be taking care of ourselves, be it by masturbating or getting some exercise, or by abstaining. Neither you nor your partner has the right to demand sex from one another solely because you want it at that moment.

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