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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Me on top?

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Author Topic: Me on top?
AmandaC
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Hi. I have another question. ok,my boyfriend always has wanted me on top. But I know if I know how to have sex with him with me on top.you get what I an saying? I don't know if I will be able to move my body right? this may sound stupid. But anyways how do you move your body while riding your guy?
Posts: 41 | From: Richmond Virginia United States | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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There are a lot of reasons we don't give technique here, but here's the biggest one: no one needs it. Sex is just not that complicated. It is, in fact, apallingly easy which is why we have this huge population which began via sex WAY before there was sex advice columnists, books or self-help video.

Any kind of sex is a lot like free-form dancing. You move your body how it wants to move to the rhythm that's there. You move the way it feels good. You work with your partner and find the way you both dig moving together.

There really is no wrong way to do it. In other words, sex is not a strict tango or a waltz. It's free movement dictated by what feels good and right to the parties involved at that time and that differs by each person, by a given day, a given position, a given mood.

No one else can tell you how to do that because no one else is the two of you.

How you find out what those things are is by trying them. If you don't feel ready or free enough to do that yet, you wait until you are. If it all seems really scary or embarassing, you likely aren't there yet. If you just feel a little lost, but otherwise okay and ready, it's like learning how to ride a bike: you put your feet on the pedals, and you give it a go.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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Etch
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Just as some reassurance, it takes practice and trying out new things out (in any position). At first you might not know exactly what feels good for you and your partner, but we don't either. So, try moving in different ways and see what works and you will figure things out eventually.
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Lady21
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--edited--

Lady, please review our guidelines you agreed to when registering. Because this site is based in the US and serves minors, we absolutely may NOT post explicit technique information here.

I expect not to have to remind again.

- The Mizmanagement

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 10-12-2003).]


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molly_hellion
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I had the same worries. I even asked all my girlfriends and no one could explain it to me either. Some how it all worked out. Things come natural after a while. Good luck and remeber to just have confedince!
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curious&confused
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the first time i had sex, i did girl on top, its sooo much easier and u get to be in charge. there are no specfic rules to follow, just go with the flow and it will come naturally. just move your body how you want to, and it will end up feeling great. its like kissing, you dont get taught how to do it, u just know.
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KandyKorn17
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actually, there have been psychological studies that suggest sex is far from just "something natural" that happens- with humans, that is. meaning humans dont necessarily have that basic instinct animals do that leads them to "just know" how to have sex. that's why humans tend to do it ALL sorts of ways in ALL sorts of positions and some sexual activities are considered perfectly "natural" in one culture and "disgusting and morally wrong" in another... It's funny how you mention kissing, because kissing seems to be a completely learned behavior- some cultures don't generally practice "kissing" at all because it doesn't fit into their idea of standard sexual behavior

So I've been taught in psychology classes, at least.

That being said, it should bring a lot of comfort to people who haven't quite "gotten the hang of sex" yet, because there is nothing wrong with you if you have a lot of awkward moments or you "don't know how to do something". Try stuff out and communicate with your partner- and while you should listen to your partners helpful suggestions or any comments they make on what feels good to them, don't ever let anybody tell you "youre doing it wrong". Ugh, doesn't it just get on your nerves a little when you hear grown, educated people talk about right and wrong and good and bad about sex? As far as I can tell, most "bad sex" seems to be a result of poor communication skills rather than poor performance.


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Cathexis
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dunno if this counts as sexual technique...if it does, sorry! But I think it's quite important...
Pay attention as to how the BOY is... I tried doing it and my boyfriend wasnt fully erect... ended up in a quite painful BEND on his penis. It happened twice and it took months til I figured out what had happened

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Melody
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... don't ever let anybody tell you "youre doing it wrong". Ugh, doesn't it just get on your nerves a little when you hear grown, educated people talk about right and wrong and good and bad about sex? As far as I can tell, most "bad sex" seems to be a result of poor communication skills rather than poor performance. [/B][/QUOTE]

WEll if a guy was going down on a girl and stopped to lick her belly button thinking it would feel really good wouldn't you call that poor performance. Maybe even a little disturbing?


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Melody
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Though actually seriously now. I think there isn't a right or wrong way to have sex or do sexual acts. But there is a right of wrong way for each person. What may not feel good to someone could feel great to someone else and vise versa. Your right. Its really a matter of communication.
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logic_grrl
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quote:
WEll if a guy was going down on a girl and stopped to lick her belly button thinking it would feel really good wouldn't you call that poor performance. Maybe even a little disturbing?

Maybe it would feel really good to her. Different people enjoy different things. If it doesn't, or if the guy wants to find out in advance whether she'd like it or not - well, that's what communication is for.

And why would it be "disturbing" if someone tries to do something that they hope their partner would enjoy?


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Heather
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.... not to mention that being privy to even casual conversation from all sorts of people who work in sexuality, from call girls to sex educators, and with thousands upon thousands of adults who have been sexually active for decades, the only time I hear someone say "You CAN do X-sex-activity wrong," is when it's followed by "in terms of how I like it."

Soi, if you find the statement that there is no right or wrong way for something for everyone not to ring true to you, either you need some time to find that out or you're perhaps not adding that "in terms of how *I* like it" on the end.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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Heder
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i'm not sure i see what's disturbing about someone licking your bellybutton..

apparently our lips are one of the most sensitive parts of our body. perhaps that's why peopke kiss. sorry, just a side note.

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I think this boy's cheese slid off his cracker - The Green Mile


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