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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Question about kissing

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Author Topic: Question about kissing
sugababez
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I've heard that you can get herpes from kissing if you have cold sores. Well, lucky me has them and i dont kno what to do about them. i dont get them too often but i'm still worried. do i just never kiss anyone ever in fear that i might give them herpes? help!
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PrettyGirlSuffering
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Fear not... you don't have to do the whole "never kiss anyone in fear of getting herpes of the mouth." Yes, if you do have a cold sore it is VERY possible to give it to whom ever you're kissing, and so on. I've heard of a few ointments you can put on your cold sores like, Abreva, and something else they advertise on T.V. Have to have a doc. pH for it though. If I were in your shoes and a pesky cold sore popped up. Just aviod kissing anyone until it's gone, and about a week after. Keep applying ointment to it so it doesn't come back. Also avoid licking it, or putting lipstick/gloss/chaptstick etc, because the virus from your cold sore can get onto your stuff and after your current cold sore is gone, it'll give it right back to you.
Also avoid letting people drink and eat after you, sharing food/drink with them. Basic line, when you have a cold sore, don't let people come in contact to anything your mouth has touched.

There are two types of herpes virus.
Herpes Virus Simplex 1, is Cold Sores.
Herpes Virus Simplex 2, is herpes of the gentials.
Do be aware that if you give someone oral sex, or vice-versa and you don't use a dam or condom, Simplex 1 *CAN* turn into Simplex 2. I highly don't recommend having unprotected oral sex, especially when you or your partner have a cold sore.

I hope this helped with your question. I did a project on herpes (simplex's 1 & 2), in 8th grade for pre-bio. I'm amazed I remember this stuff! Agh, but anyway... good luck, and be careful!

[Edited because I found a post on herpes, may be A LOT more helpful then what I posted, and after reading it, I think I wasn't exactly clear, so PLEASE, PLEASE Sugababez go read the other thread! Eep!! I feel like a bad advice giver!]
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum2/HTML/003685.html
Herpes confusion!

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.a.m.a.n.d.a.

-=No one can make you feel inferior without your consent=-Eleanor Roosevelt

[This message has been edited by PrettyGirlSuffering (edited 05-17-2003).]


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-Jill
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I thought your post was quite helpful Amanda.

I'm going to link to the article logic_grrl mentioned in the other thread for convenience: STI File: Herpes Simplex

[This message has been edited by ookuotoe (edited 05-17-2003).]


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PrettyGirlSuffering
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Well thank you, that makes me feel a bit better about the advice I gave her. I just wanted to be ABSOLUTELY she got the info she was looking for, so I edited and added that link to the other post. But again, thank you!! :-D

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.a.m.a.n.d.a.

-=No one can make you feel inferior without your consent=-Eleanor Roosevelt


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sugababez
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thanks so much! theres still one problem tho.....what do i do if my boyfriend wants to kiss me and i have a cold sore or are not sure if i may be getting one? i dont want to sound stupid and say "hey i have a cold sore so go away"
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PrettyGirlSuffering
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Ah yes, what to tell the boyfriend. Well, to have a good relationship you want to be honest, and open. Do just that, and if he still is all, "I don't care I want it anyway." Just simply say, you don't want him to get it, because you don't want it back. It's not to hurt his feelings, but it's for your own well being, and his too. My ex used to try and kiss me when he thought he was getting one, or had one. My solution... I turned my face, or put my hands over my mouth. It kind of irritated him, but I haven't had a cold sore because of it! (GO ME!!). If your boyfriend seriously just doesn't get the message, let him read articles on cold sores and kissing, and how they can be transmitted. He might not be so unwilling to wait after that! lol good luck!

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.a.m.a.n.d.a.

-=No one can make you feel inferior without your consent=-Eleanor Roosevelt

[This message has been edited by PrettyGirlSuffering (edited 05-17-2003).]


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Blue Roses
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Maybe you and your boyfriend could kiss on the ears or neck or wherever, to make up for it? Would that still risk transmitting anything?
Posts: 105 | From: Bryn Mawr, PA, USA | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lemming
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That would be fine, unless he kisses you where there is a break in your skin (scratch, cut, insect bite, whatever). Mucous membranes - much of the vulval area, inside of the urethra, eyes, nasal tissue, and mouth - are what you need to really worry about.

Neck and ears would be fine.

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Laurel Lemming
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"Take a little time for sunshine/Take a whole lot of time for love/...Take your life as it may come, 'cause boy, it'll be gone soon/Take a little time for howlin' at the moon..." - Sam Bush, "Howlin' at the Moon"


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sugababez
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Doh. wait...so a guy can't perform oral sex on me now? sheesh im really getting the short end of the stick here just cuz i was born with mouth sores. maybe its just best if i lock myself in a closet.....


btw...how do dental dams work?


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lemming
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A dental dam is always a good idea - what if your partner has oral herpes and doesn't know it? Besides, they can help prevent bacterial and yeast infections as well.

I'm sure there's a thread somewhere on dental dams, but I'm not on my main computer, so here's a short summary:

A dental dam is a large sheet of latex, but you can use saran wrap, too, or a condom cut down the middle with the end and the ring cut off to make a sheet. The sheet is placed over the entire vulva area, and oral sex is performed through it. It acts as a barrier between one person's genitals and fluids and another person's mouth.

Does that help?

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Laurel Lemming
Scarleteen Advocate

"Take a little time for sunshine/Take a whole lot of time for love/...Take your life as it may come, 'cause boy, it'll be gone soon/Take a little time for howlin' at the moon..." - Sam Bush, "Howlin' at the Moon"


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logic_grrl
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And nope, no closet-locking is needed . You just need to be honest with any partner you may have and take sensible safer sex precautions. Check out the wise words of Miz S in these threads:

STD Sufferers Support Group
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/000295.html?


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sugababez
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so wait...just to be clear and all.....i cant have oral sex performed on me because I'M the one who has mouth sores? i just dont get it....
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Heather
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I think some things are getting lost in the translation because a user asked about oral sex and herpes in general.

If a given person has oral herpes, then no, their partner is not at risk of developing it by giving them oral sex. However, the point that I think was being made is that using barriers for oral sex is wise *period* because Herpes and other STIs can be transmitted that way, and often are so.

On a more practical note then, if YOU have oral herpes, then to give a partner oral sex, you should be using a barrier, especially when you have active sores or are about to, and if you cannot tell yet when you're about to get a sore, then you should always use a barrier.

And again, none of this means a person simply cannot engage in sexual activities at all.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 67125 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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