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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » First Time

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Author Topic: First Time
dayla_starr
Neophyte
Member # 12577

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I'm finally ready for sex, and I have been ready for a while - I've actually attempted having sex with two or three different boyfriends, over a period of a couple years. However, each time I try, with any guy, his penis will only go in a few millimeters before it starts hurting. Badly. I know first intercourse will cause pain for any girl, but this pain is the worst thing I've *ever* felt...(okay, short of one time i had the flu and i thought i was dying. heh.) I feel like someone's piercing my insides with a knife.

I've read the article about first intercourse, and I'm fairly sure it's not a problem with an inpenetrable hymen - I've been fingered before, and although it hurts a tiny bit and feels a little weird, his whole finger fits in just fine.

So: has this happened to anyone else here? Do any of you have any suggestions or advice for what I should do?


Posts: 5 | From: Salisbury, MD | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mnsouthpawjr
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I don't really know if you're ready. Your body could be that tense as a way to show you that you're not ready.

You mentioned you've done some research and these articles may be of assistance (if you haven't read these):
http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/readiness.html
http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/firsttime.html
http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/advice_toobig.html
http://www.scarleteen.com/politics/virginity_4.html

I wish you the best of luck!!


Posts: 73 | From: Louisville, KY USA | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kythryne
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Who wants to join me for a rousing chorus of the lube song? It goes like this:

Lube lube lube lube, lube lube lube lube, lube lube lube lube, lube lube lube lube, yay, waterbased lube!

In all seriousness, though, if you're not already doing so, make sure you're using good quality condoms (Kimono and Durex are two good brands) and lots and lots and LOTS of a good waterbased lube such as Astroglide or KY. Also, take your time, and make sure you're relaxed and aroused before attempting penetration. Pentration can be very painful if your vagina is too dry and there's too much friction, or if you're tense and trying to go too fast.


Posts: 1685 | From: New York City | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cathexis
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Even if you think you are ready to do it, you might be tense anyway. Happened to me. I was fairly calm, it was all pretty natural to me but it started hurting anyway. THEN I noticed I was tensing up anyway... And relaxed and everything went just FINE ^__^.
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KittenGoddess
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Have you been to the gynocologist yet? If not, then you should. You've been menstruating for several years now (I assume) and you're sexually active, so you definately should be seeing a gyn annually. Your gyn should be able to shed some light on the potential hymen issue and check to make sure that everything is alright.

------------------
KittenGoddess
Scarleteen Sexpert (and Labia Lady)


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dayla_starr
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Thanks for the advice, all - I'll see what happens.
Posts: 5 | From: Salisbury, MD | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
smuck
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omg i have totaly the same problem!
actually, i've only tried sex once, and that was today! and thats why i came on here, coz it hurt soooo much that i just had to stop him, i felt sooo stupid, but he was soo nice and understanding, anyhow, yes i kinda need some answers too, plx help
xxx

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logic_grrl
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smuck, do read the articles that mnsouthpawjr linked to - they're likely to help answer your questions. Then you can post again if you've still got questions after that .

And there's nothing to feel "stupid" about, really. Sometimes sex - especially first-time intercourse - doesn't work out as we imagine it or plan it. That's just part of life .


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smuck
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omg thanks soo much for that..i think i get it now hehe..it helped loads.
i dicided to show my boyfriend this site and we talked about it and figured out what was wrong, so im very pleased about that

thx everyone
xxx


Posts: 7 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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