Recently I was telling someone about the BDSM mantra "safe, sane and consensual", and she asked what the "sane" part meant. I realized that I didn't really know. Everything I could come up with sort of fell under the "safe" part of it. Could anyone enlighten me?
Personally, I'd explain it as what is emotionally safe and intellectually sound.
For example, it would not be sane to try and set up an abduction scene in BDSM with a nonconsenting party, because not only would that traumatize them, it'd be sexual assault which would likely land the person who did it in jail.
More examples: it would likely not be "sane" to bring a BDSM relationship into the office. It isn't usually sane to choose activities you know may trigger great upset or abuse flashbacks. It isn't sane to push limits you know you're not ready to push. It isn't sane to consent to something you know you aren't really comfortable with.
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