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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » Ouch! It hurts.

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Author Topic: Ouch! It hurts.
Member # 10705

Icon 11 posted      Profile for CherryKisses     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey everyone,
Thanks for reading. I have a question, I recently had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, and few times after that. The first time it really hurt a lot. And then it got better, but it still occasionally hurts. I guess you could say he's pretty thick, maybe over average. I was wondering if theres a way to make it less painful, or a method that makes it more simple to get all the way in without stoping and pausing because I'm in pain. Thanks!

Posts: 7 | From: Virginia, USA | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33

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Yes, there is!

First of all, if you're using good-quality condoms and plenty of condom-safe lubricant, (A Simple Condom Primer), this will cut down on the friction problem. Your vulvar and vaginal tissues are very delicate, and lube can help make everything more enjoyable for both parties.

Second, you should expect a little bit of pausing; everything doesn't have to go in all at once. That you're telling him what's uncomfortable and he's stopping is a good thing - communication can only make intercourse easier and more pleasurable.

Third, you may be nervous, and tensing your muscles. This can make penetration difficult, and it can make it hurt. Remember, it's not about getting it all the way in, and it's not all about orgasm - if it hurts, don't do it, give it a rest for awhile. There are plenty of things you guys can do that are fun and feel good but don't involve intercourse.

Laurel Lemming
Scarleteen Advocate

"Ooh, I'll settle down with some old story/About a boy who's just like me/Thought there was love in everything and everyone, you're so naive!"-Belle and Sebastian, "Get Me Away From Here I'm Dying"

Posts: 3156 | From: Austin, Texas | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1896

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Also, our article First Intercourse 101 has a few tips on how to make intercourse work, not just for the first time.

~Scarleteen Sexpert~

Spike: (In response to being asked to fight a troll) "I would, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much."

Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 9724

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i just wanted to second the two points being made already.

1. not all the way in at once. No KIDDING! if he's rushing things, ask him why... the slower things go the steamier they are!

2. nerves. YEAH. Unless you're 100% in the groove of things, you're going to be tense and it REALLY DOES affect your anatomy down there. think about it....

Posts: 56 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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