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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » oral sex prob. i need an answer quick!!!!

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Author Topic: oral sex prob. i need an answer quick!!!!
Charmed10123
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Okay, I have been going out with my b/f for 13 months. A little while ago (about 2 wks.)I preformed oral sex on him, (if that's the right context.) and he seemed like he liked it, but then I found out he told his friend (not wanting to hurt me) that it wasn't that good. Is there anything you would suggest for me to do to make it better?????
please help,

Posts: 1 | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Zanney
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According to the guidelines (http://www.scarleteen.com/boards/guidelines.html) we can't post sexual techniques here, as much of the readership is under-age.

It would be useless anyway, as everyone is different. The only way for you to get better to is to talk to your boyfriend and see what he likes.


Posts: 419 | From: Tivoli | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
insatiablesmiles
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hey,
there's one way to solve this - ask him what he likes! the only way to find out what your partner likes is to ask them. try giving him oral sex again, as you do things ask him if he likes it, and you'll also probably be able to tell by his reaction. but if you can't, just talk, ask him. all healthy relationships demand good communication.
no one at scarleteen is going to give you specific advice about what to do, the only person who'll do that is your boyfriend.
also my partner once told me there's no such thing as bad oral sex for a guy - unless you draw blood!
the best way is to practise. practise, practise. and talk to him!

hope this helps you.

-ruthi
xxo

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http://thebitch.mustbehere.com


Posts: 100 | From: london, england | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Remember that if someone says a certain sexual activity wasn't so great, they may also simply not like that particular activity. Not everyone like oral sex, or manual sex, or intercourse, etc. People vary. You certainly can and should ask him what he likes and work together on it if you both want to, but do leave room for him potentially just not liking oral sex in general right now. Some folks don't. So, yes there can be "bad oral sex for a guy," if a given guy doesn't happen to like it or find it interesting. All men do not all like the same things.

What I'd also suggest you do that's more important right now is have a talk with your partner about discussing your sexual life to others. Sounds like it made you feel pretty bad having this come back to you this way.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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KandyKorn17
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Wow, I think a LOT of people have been through things that are similar to this! It is sooooooooo important to communicate with your sexual partner! I know this can be a hard thing to do, because even if you're open to dicussion, your partner might be uncomfortable saying anything besides "I like what you do" (whatever that may be). So, seriously, ask him what's up! Don't be embarrassed about it. Also, I promise you, from my own experience, the worst way to handle this situation is to go around asking for friends for some technique tips. It can lead to some really bad self esteem issues if you let other people convince you that you don't know what you're doing, and then you start wondering "well is THIS what my boyfriend really wants?" and so on and so on. There really IS no wrong or right way to do anything. So just talk to him!
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