posted
hairless. We did it for the first time over a month ago and that's the first time we got even close to naked together. I mean he has a little hair on his legs and some "down there" but when he took off his shirt, he had nothing under his arms. I didnt say anything but I thought it was odd. So i asked him (on the phone, it was less embarassing)why he shaved his armpits and he said he didn't and ended the call and we haven't even kissed since. I'm afraid I said something bad, does he have a medical issue? My other BF had nice hair on his body including under his arms.
Posts: 3 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Body hair tends to vary a lot from one person to another. Some people just don't have much at all, while others end up being fuzzy all over.
It can also take a while for body hair to develop. If your guy hit puberty late, his could still be pretty thin because the hormones that trigger the growth of body hair just haven't kicked in strongly yet.
Either way, I'd guess that he's just embarrassed about it. Someone may have teased him about it before, or he may just feel insecure about looking different.
Kyth
Posts: 1685 | From: New York City | Registered: Oct 2001
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quote: Someone may have teased him about it before, or he may just feel insecure about looking different.
Kyth
I agree with Kythryne, that might be how he's feeling.
Maybe he was expecting that you, as his partner, wouldn't coment on that, although I think it's normal you noticed it and asked about it.
I think maybe you should meet him (not phone call) and talk to him, say you didn't mean to embarass or upset him, that you like him the same way with or without hair, and that you were just curious. You might even say he looks cute with no hair, like a big baby (if that's what you think hehe) I would personally find a guy more attractive no hair than one with a lot of it, but it's all different from person to person.
Try and comfort him as he must be feeling a bit down Good luck
posted
Thanks for the advice, but it's weird now to think I did it with a guy who's not even done with puberty? That's almost gross. I should be more careful I guess.
Posts: 3 | Registered: Oct 2001
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posted
Woah, Pompette. We all develop(ed) at a different pace, and being condescending about it isn't very helpful, but rather rude, especially when you're talking about your partner here. There is nothing gross about someone not having much body hair, just as it isn't if someone has lots, or small breasts or big breasts or whatever else.
If you can't accept your partner's body the way it is, you might want to rethink whether you are ready to be sexually active in the first place, I think.
posted
I didn't mean it that way but shouldn't a person be at least old enough to have a developed body before thinking it's ok to have sex? I mean, my boobs might have more room to grow, but not having body hair? Are you saying it's ok to have sex just because you can? Maybe I should have waited, but according to you a person shouldn't even need to be "developed" to get it on.
I should rethink things all-around I guess. Thanks!
posted
Some guys don't have body hair because they're not done puberty, but other guys don't have much hair just because that's the way powers-that-be made them. If you're truly concerned that your guy is too young for sex, that's one thing, but if you're taking a quirk like body hair as an indicator of readiness for sex, you're way off the mark.
Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000
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Limiting someone's "readiness" on a physical trait is indeed way off the mark. Readiness isn't makrked by body hair, just as it isn't by age or breast size. Someone is "ready" when (s)he is able to be sexually active in a responsible & aware way. For more on how we define readiness, check out http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/readiness.html
posted
Hairless guys aren't that uncommon, actually. A friend of mine is on the swim team and he shaves everything but his eyebrows to decrease drag in the water. Apparently it works, because he's never gotten anything less than second place in his races. My point is this: If you don't know this guy all that well yet, you can probably get away with saying "I was just asking because I thought you were a swimmer. I guess it was just the muscle tone that threw me off." He'll be so flattered he proably won't care about your 'hairless' remark.
Posts: 3 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: Oct 2001
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posted
It could also be his ethnicity. Some ethnic groups are just less prone to it than others. A friend of mine is partially Native American and has very little body hair which he says is typical.
Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001
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posted
Like anything else, guys come in all shapes and sizes, and the fact of the matter is that some of us are Yeti-like in our hairiness, while others among us are only very slightly harier than we were the day we were born.
Things like this have to be dealth with delicately, and it seems to me particularly uncalled for to jump to conclusions and assume that he shaves his armpits. Asking a blunt question about something like that seems particularly tactless, especially when a question like "Why are your boobs so teeny?" would probably elicit the same sort of negative reaction from you.
Since you may have already damaged whatever trust and closeness you once had between you, I would suggest apologizing for the way you handled the situation and forgetting all about the mythical concept that his being hairless makes him prepubescent. There are a wide variety of reasons why he may not have body hair, including heredity, ethnicity, and genetic reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with one's "readiness" for intimacy.
Start by apologizing for the way you confronted him on such a delicate issue, and then see where it goes from there. Hopefully he will be reasonable enough to let you back into his life, and you will be reasonable enough to know that he isn't some sort of freak anomaly.
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posted
I don't mean to be rude, but that sounded awfully insulting Pompette. A man could be 60 and never have had any hair like that, it might be rare but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong. Asking about it is fine, just as long as you go about it kindly..Men's feelings can be as..fickle as women's. Imagine if he asked you why YOU had 'so much' or 'too little' hair. I think that'd feel plenty bad, though I wouldn't be upset if it was just curiously, but by the way you have posted it doesn't seem like that. It's not a disease nor does it mean he hasn't gone through puberty. If it bothers you, there isn't anything that can be done to stop that, but that doesn't mean to be rude to him..If I'd read this and it had been me, I'd have been VERY upset...No offense, maybe you didn't realize, just be nice...
Posts: 30 | Registered: Aug 2000
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(if that's what you think hehe) I would personally find a guy more attractive no hair than one with a lot of it, but it's all different from person to person.
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