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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » raging hormones; confused mind

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Author Topic: raging hormones; confused mind
Member # 3819

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i kind of have this thing going on with this guy and we kind of came close to having sex, but I know he has a girlfriend. I met up with this other guy who wanted to have sex with me and i wantde to have sex with him too but we didn't that night/ he told me to think about it and I did so later i told him I wanted to do it/ Later i had a conversation on the phone and he has this attitude that basically states he doesn't care about anything I also found out that he is still talking to this girl he was supposed to have broken up with What worries me is that after we do it (if we do it) I'll be treated
like **** afterwards and I don't want that because if we do it he'll be my first. Basically it's like this: I want to have sex but I am not sure the after effects of it will be something I can handle. I don't want to have sex with someone I'll never see again and this guy I have been talking about is asenior in high school and there are only 2 days of school left. And the first guy I was talking about is moving and going to another school.

Posts: 2 | From: selma | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 1896

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At first, girly, you should BREATHE.

And then check out our Readiness Checklist.

And then read it again.

And again.

And think about what you have read.

If you haven't all bases covered (emotional, financial, physical, material etc.) and could not handle the possible outcomes of having intercourse (such as a pregnancy or an STD), you simply are NOT ready for sexual intercourse.
That really isn't a bad thing. Not recognzing your needs is a bad thing though.

I think there is no need at all to rush with getting sexually active, so if that guy moves away, he moves away and you aren't ready yet and can't live with him leaving after you've had intercourse, then don't have intercourse, period.

You have all your life ahead of you to become sexually active, really, and making the right choice for your emotional and physical health should be your top priority.

Hope this helps.

Moving this to SexBasics.

"We must become the change we want to see."
Mahatma Gandhi

Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 406

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You say you on't want to have sex your first time, with someone you'll never see again. Well babe, if he's a senior, and school ends in two days, chances are you won't see him too much afterwards. You sound like you're really unsure, and if you're that unsure then you should wait. If the first time you have sex is going to be important to you (with some peple it is, with some it isn't), then make sure you know what you're getting into. Make sure you can handle all the consequences (good and bad), make sure that you're not going to go into depression if the guy never talks to you again.

Another thing: If you think a guy is goign to treat you like **** afterwards, don't do it. Because you obviously have a reason for thinking he might, and if he wouldn't, then you wouldn't even ask it, because you'd know he's not that kind of a person. You have at least 40 years of good sex coming your way, probably more with the way Viagra is coming out, so don't sweat about not having it right away.

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Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3133

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Hi Twin,
Hun, If you are unsure about anything (especially about what would happen afterwards) then don't put yourself into that position. If you are never going to see this guy again or if you think he'll treat you like crap afterwards then i think that you should just hold off and not have sex with him (that's what i think). Think about what *could* happen if you did have sex with him.....STD's, pregnancy, and then what would happen between you and his girl friend. But whatever you decide to do hun, be safe .

Posts: 227 | From: U.S.A | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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