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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sex Basics and Sexual Health » a little help here...

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Author Topic: a little help here...
Member # 2930

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Ok. First off I have never orgasmed (sp?) 2nd off background info: 19, comfortable w/ sexuality, w/ partner (he's the best) and despite no big Oh still enjoy sex. So, why the heck can't I come? I've come very close through manual stimulation, not oral, just very very fast manual at just the right spot, get somewhat close (building sensation) when I'm on top, but during both I seem to somewhat fight it. When I get really close through manual stimulation I seriously back away from my BF and say "No more! No more!" I don't know why, I mean I would like to come but it's like I can see the finish line just can't cross it?
Posts: 62 | From: Raleigh, NC, USA | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 406

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Well, first off a very great and thorough article about orgasms and the way your body responds to stimulation can be found here:

You said that you come close during manual stimulation, which is pretty usual considering that most women can only orgasm from direct clitoral stimulation. Have you ever orgasmed while masturbating? I'd say that you really should go and have some self-sex time, because once you see what you like and what makes you orgasm, you can help your boyfriend out on what to do. Since you're 19, and live in the US, you can go buy a vibrator if you want, which could definetly help you orgasm.

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Posts: 1339 | From: Las Vegas, NV, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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I feel the need to qualify Pixie's statement: when it comes to GENITAL stimulation, mort women are likely to be aroused and reach orgasm via clitoral stimulation than solely by vaginal stimulus.

I know it sounds nitpicky, it's just a fine point, but an improtant one, since people who can't even FEEL their genitals at all are also able to orgasm.

And good advice Pix: start by taking sex into your own two hands. Some of what may be ahppening is that you're smimply having some anxiety from not knowing what to expect.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2050

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I can't offer much advice that Pixie and Miz S already haven't but I am exactly the same.

I hardly orgasm when I have sex with my guy and sometimes when we have sex, I feel something start to build up but I ask him to stop.

Can't really explain it and he's confused but it doesn't matter to me.

I have my own fun and I am very sexually satisfied in our relationship. So whether I orgasm or not doesn't really matter.

So as Pix said, experiment yourself and see what turns you on or helps you orgasm. After that, you could let your guy know and you both could have lots of fun together. Experimentation in the key.

Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 589

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Anything I add now would be redundant. However, one thing, try not to focus on the orgasm. If it happens, great. If it doesn't, great. If it was an overall pleasurable experience, there's really nothing to fret about, imho. Worrying about orgasming isn't going to help it along. Relax and follow the others' advice.

I'll move this to Sex Basics.

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

Posts: 681 | From: Florida, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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