Yeah, plastic wrap is a pain in the butt for oral sex sometimes, and so are condoms. But compared to having to explain to someone that you're infected with something really icky or potentially even fatal, it's small change.

The only way to be sure you're playing safe is to use barriers. Use 'em. The only responsible way to *not* use barriers is to do the following:
1) Establish a completely monogamous relationship. No sexual contact, period, with anyone but your partner.

2) Both of you go get a complete STD screen. If they both come back completely negative, move on to #3.

3) Wait 6 months. During those 6 months, you can have sex with your monogamous partner ONLY, and you can ONLY have barrier-protected safer sex. Condoms, plastic wrap, the whole nine yards. EVERY TIME. PERIOD.

4) Both of you go get a complete STD screen again.

5) If the STD screen comes back completely negative for both of you a second time, then and only then are you actually 95% sure that neither of you have anything you could give to the other person. Bear in mind that some things (like HIV, the virus that causes AIDS), can take longer than 6 months to show up, but usually if it's going to show up, it will show up within 6 months.

6) After you've done all this, you can finally feel relatively free to toss the condoms and the plastic wrap out the window (make sure you have some other kind of birth control!!!!).

Got it? Good.

In re: sixty-nine -- it doesn't necessarily "double your pleasure." Some people find that it's way too distracting to try to perform oral sex on someone else when they're having it done to them. Some people just don't find the idea interesting or arousing.

Assuming that "things will change once you're in the bedroom" is pretty disrespectful. Your girlfriend's feelings on this issue DO matter. You can ask, but she can say no. If she agrees to try it and discovers she likes it, great. If she tries it and doesn't like it, respect that.

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Hanne Blank
Associate Editor, Scarleteen