We can help you assess if a risk was present, and if so, give you an estimate on how great a risk it was (with greater or less precision based on if you do or do not know things like your average ovulation dates), what physical contact was had or the level of your use of birth control.We cannot tell you your pregnancy risk in mathematical percentages.
We can help you find where and how to obtain a pregnancy test in your area and how to use one, and/or help you find a doctor or clinic where you can get one in-office.
We cannot actually BE a pregnancy test or some sort of psychic pregnancy oracle. We cannot tell you if you are or are not pregnant if you have not taken a pregnancy test.
We can help you find where and how to obtain emergency contraception in your area, and give you information about emergency contraception: what it is, how it works, its effectiveness, what side effects are or aren't typical, etc.
We cannot nag you into getting EC or doing available damage control when it comes to a pregnancy and/or STI risk. We also cannot do these things for you: you must do them for yourself, and it is not our job to convince you to do so.
We can give you information on all your reproductive options should you discover you are pregnant: pregnancy childbirth and parenting, abortion or adoption. We can also usually help you find places to obtain any of these services, find resources to fund them when needed, find support for dealing with these choices and help you consider these choices by furnishing you with whatever information about any of them you might need.
We cannot tell you what the "right" choice with a pregnancy is, per deciding between pregnancy or termination. Only you can make that choice for yourself. We also cannot endorse nor direct you to illegal or unsafe means for you to procure any of these services.
We can help you learn how to make better choices next time, should your pregnancy risk have resulted from choosing to forego birth control, or using an unreliable or ineffective method.
We cannot make you feel guilty and punished for making a poor choice for yourself. Well, we could, but we just don't want to as it is nonproductive and in no way helpful to anyone.
We can provide you with resources and aid should the pregnancy risk have resulted from a rape in which you did not get to choose sex nor birth control.
We can counsel you within reason in regards to being proactive with an actual pregnancy risk, and dealing with issues related to it.
We cannot counsel any one individual several times a day about a pregnancy risk (or several times a day for days or weeks on end, or with multiple and continued incidents), especially when there is nothing left to do but either obtain EC, wait for a period or the right time to do a test, or accept a verified result that you are or are not pregnant. We will not continue to counsel a user about risk to whom we have explained these options but who, for whatever reason, refuses to pursue them.
We can give you the most accurate information and assessment possible, based on general and typical physiology and data regarding women and young women as a whole.
We cannot give you information on your own unique body, especially since a) it's unlikely you have all the information we need to even try to do that and b) we're not doctors with your health history in our hands or a lab nearby. We also cannot make an assessment based on what you want to hear, rather than what the scenario actually appears to be.
We will no longer...
• Counsel any users who have come to Scarleteen with more than three elective (as in, you chose to have sex and chose not to use reliable birth control) pregnancy risks in their post history, nor counsel users who have developed a history of posting extensive pregnancy paranoia when they are using reliable birth control effectively. At either of those points, we will inform those users that they need to either simply choose not to be sexually active if they are taking undue risks OR are simply unable to deal with pregnancy risks that exist even with reliable methods, OR start using the methods of birth control and safer sex we have advised, and/or manage their burdens and choices regarding pregnancy risks privately or elsewhere.
In other words, you are responsible for your choices and actions: we are not, and you need to bear the personal responsibility for them accordingly.
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Heather Corinna
Editor & Founder, Scarleteen
ST blog • about Heather & Scarleteen
"You have to love women who are brave enough to do things so big in a world where women are supposed to be so small." - Andrea Dworkin