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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » not sure?

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Author Topic: not sure?
gtes22
Neophyte
Member # 64389

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ok soo here it is... im not sure if im gay, but im not sure if im straight. and i know whoever reads this might think im bi... and i know it sounds stupid but what does that mean? obviously i know it means you like guys and girls but like im not sure how to call myself. I mean im sexually attracted to females, but emotionally and physically attracted to men. The only thing that makes me uncertain about being gay is anal intercourse. I mean i know what it means but like what is it like? is it painful? or what... Also im not sure what i want because i want to have a heterosexual lifestyle, with a family and what not but i'd also like live a homosexual lifestyle... and i know i have time to figure it out (only 15 going on 16) but i would appreciate any and all feedback... thanks [Smile]
Posts: 2 | From: idk | Registered: May 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

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I'm going to link you to a couple of things to read first off, and then we can go from there.

Q is for Questioning
Misconception Mayhem: Separating Bisexuality and Homosexuality Myths from Facts
The Bees and...the Bees: A Homosexuality and Bisexuality Primer
Bi the Dozen: A Bisexuality Quiz
I'm bisexual, so why don't I feel exactly the same about men and women?

I know it's a lot of reading, but I think you'll find the answers to a lot of your questions in those articles, and then if you want to talk about this further, we'll be more on the same page. [Smile]

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5799 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
gtes22
Neophyte
Member # 64389

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you helped me out alot. i realized i no longer had to have a deadline and itll come naturally so i should experiment and one day i'll get the answer... any other tips?
Posts: 2 | From: idk | Registered: May 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
eryn_smiles
Peer Ambassador
Member # 35643

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Just a couple of points from your first post. Whatever you identify your sexual orientation as, you don't have to engage in any particular activity such as anal intercourse. Lots of straight people will enjoy that and many gay people may not.

What do you think of when you talk about heterosexual and homosexual lifestyles? Are you aware that nowadays, there is alot of overlap and similarity in the ways that people can live. Many queer people do get married/ have civil ceremonies and raise children, for example.

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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