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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » pansex?bi? confused!

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Author Topic: pansex?bi? confused!
Member # 53508

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ok, i'm new, and i'm not sure if this is how you do this, and it's kind of long, but bare with me please:
my first kiss was with a friend, who's a girl. But it was only a "practice" kiss. neither of us had our first kiss yet, and she wanted to practice with someone so her real first kiss was perfect. we never mentioned it to anyone else. even though it was a "practice" kiss, i still think of it as my first kiss, because i did enjoy it. in fact, maybe a little too much. i just felt something surge through me.
i know i'm interested in both genders, i've been attracted to girls many times, even have dreams about them. but i'm not sure if i'm bi or pansexual. i often tell myself that you fall in love with people, not genders. i try to look past genders. but i also can't seem to shake off certain features that attract me to them. maybe all that just has to do with my beliefs that all genders are equal. i try to see people as whole, but i also can't seem to ignore genders. i can't get over the fact that he is a boy or that she is a girl, though i can be attracted to them both.
so? Am technically pansexual? or bi? please help. i don'y know why, but not knowing scares me, like i feel like it's something i should already know. help? [Frown]


Posts: 3 | From: U.S.A | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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Most typically, people choose the term pansexual over bisexual to simply make clear that gender is not binary, and/or to make clear that they are not just attracted to people who are binary in their gender, but also trans people and other kinds of gender-variant people.

In other words, you say "both" genders, but there are more than two genders, and also more than two sexes. So, while bisexual is a term a lot of folks use and is very familiar to a lot of people, it can imply things about sex and gender that are not true UNLESS someone means they are only attracted to people who identify as men or women, or who are only XX or XY.

Make sense?

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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