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Author Topic: i don't know how to deal with me
acallahan
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I’ve already overcome the anxiety of being gay. I've never felt anything except platonic towards girls and I've had a few crushes on guys, but nothing I've ever acted on. I haven't said anything to my family (which is basically my homophobic dad and one uncle) and only my closest friend knows. I figured I could keep this up until I can get as far away from here as possible. Good plan, right?

None of that is my problem.

Last night I went to this stupid party and I KNEW it was a bad idea, but I went anyway. I had a few drinks and then I don't really remember what happened but I was making out with some random guy. I don't even remember his name. What's worse is that he was pulling up my shirt and I don't know how far I would've gone if I didn't freak out and remember that we were in public.

Well, today I woke up and I can't stop thinking about that kiss (not a great first kiss by the way... drunken hook up and all).

Long story short, I feel disgusting and I don't know what's wrong with me. I can still feel his hands on me and it doesn't make any sense because it was just kissing and that's something that five-year-olds can handle. I really don't understand what's with me, I can fantasize about guys in my math class, yet the physical act of being with one terrifies me.

Not normal, right? Who knows what the hell is wrong with me?

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OWL Dan
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I would like to start off by saying that there is nothing wrong with you! What it sounds like to me is that your inhibitions were lowered and you acted on your desire to interact with another guy but, for the same reason, it went further than you were ready for. I am guessing, based on what you have written, that you are dealing with conflicting feelings of acting on your desires and it’s not being that way you had wanted it to be. Once again, I would say that there is nothing wrong with you! [Smile]

I have to leave for work right now, but I wanted to help you to, at least, put your mind at ease before I left. I will be back these evening if you would like to talk more; plus there are other who can help as well.

Take Care,

[ 01-24-2011, 07:29 AM: Message edited by: OWL Dan ]

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Dan

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September
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You know, not everyone can "handle" kissing in all circumstances. There is no reason to get down on yourself for not being that into the kiss. It doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with you, and it certainly doesn't say anything about your sexual orientation. All that your reaction says is that you weren't comfortable kissing that particular guy in that particular situation.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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acallahan
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thanks for replying, today was a nightmare, it was nice to see people left something.

i spent the entire day jumpy as hell because i was sure someone was going to mention something about what happened that night. school was normal though, which should seem better, but it was worse with it just hanging over me. i can't look any guy in the eye because i can't remember who i kissed that night.

seeing that i basically spent the entire day a paranoid mess, i need to get past this. i couldn't even take a deep breath while i was walking home.

anyone know what comes next? i hate all of this uncertainty and i can't shake this awful feeling.

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September
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I'm so sorry that you had such a rough day.

Do you want to talk about why you were feeling so frightened? What is it that you are afraid of?

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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acallahan
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i don't know where to begin.

-i'm afraid my dad's going to hate me. we can barely talk anymore, but at least he offers to do things like drive me around and ask about my day.
-the only bi kids in my school are somewhat skater (i can hardly ride a bike) and there is no one openly gay here. at all (interesing that I remember the guy i kissed last night was wearing a red polo).
-i'm not a popular person, and i'm ok with that. but i don't need to limit myself even further. i hear the other guys mess we each other and call each other fags and queer and all sorts of comments that make me flinch.
-my experience with high school is that people are emotional and complusive. when that's mixed with ignorance, nothing good can follow.

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September
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It sounds like you're worried about the repercussion of being gay in high school. I hear you there: that's not an easy time.

But, even if you don't feel comfortable coming out in school, that doesn't mean that you have to be completely isolated, or that it's all going to suck for the next couple of years.

Do you have any friends at school? Anyone that you would feel comfortable coming out to? Having some support in this would go a long way towards you feeling less isolated and scared.

If you don't have any friends right now that you can trust with this, then maybe it's time to work towards finding new friends. Does your school have a GSA? If so, have you looked into attending a meeting?

If you don't want to be out in school at all, you an also find support elsewhere. Lucky for you, you live in New York: that's one of the best places to be in terms of finding GLBT support. If you want, we can help you find a support group near you.

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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acallahan
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i don't have many friends, i kinda went into this angsty isolation period after my mom died and i lost a lot of friends from it. but hey, they can't have been that great anyway.

the only person i'm out to is my best friend, who is a girl and an amazing person for sticking with me. she was adopted by a gay couple (which she takes a lot of shit for) and is the most open-minded person i know. she's also mistaken for my girlfriend a lot. she insists that "it's complicated"

what i find interesting about out GSA club is that it's a club that does the OPPOSITE of what it's supposed to. it's more of a gay-debate-arena where ignorance prevails (must to the chagrin of my friend who quit it last year).

the whole situation makes me want to bang my head against the wall. i'm more upset with myself for getting into this situation and not being able to deal with it.

you're being incredably helpful. i do intend on eventually getting past high school. that doesn't help with my dad though who last took pride in me for joining the soccer team instead of the art club.

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September
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I'm so glad to hear that you have such an awesome friend! Having someone to tough it out with you is such a huge, huge help.

Have you been able to connect with her parents at all? It sounds like they could offer you some great support, too, so I'd definitely explore that if you haven't already. I bet they could also help connect you to some local support groups, or maybe even a youth center for GLBT youth.

And, again, if you want you can toss us your zip code (or send it to us privately via the "Contact Us" button) and we can find you some resources in your area.

I'm sorry to hear that you can't talk to your father at all. But you know, you will get through high school, and once you're out living a life of your own, dealing with your father will likely become easier. Once you have some distance and aren't dependent on him anymore (and once you're able to live the life that you want to live), chances are it will be easier to be honest with him. So, I know that's not much right now, but try to remember that when it feels hopeless.

[ 01-24-2011, 06:04 PM: Message edited by: September ]

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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acallahan
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i talked to one of her dads (the other is away on business) and he helped a bit, but i don't know how to break it to him that his daughter took me to a party where i got drunk enough to not remember most of it.

i'm really concerned about my dad, though. i think he thinks i'm straight and dating my friend. he sees what he wants to. i can't help feeling that he wants me to be someone i'm so NOT. not to mention every time i bring her up he takes it as an opportunity to tell me their family is "unnatural" and "wrong." i know coming out would be such a disappointment for him.

as far as school goes i have one history teacher that i suspect might be gay but i've never asked. the rest of my school is incompetent. if it were to get out that i'm gay and i was bullied, i'm pretty sure nothing would be done. he's a nice guy, but he's not the administration.

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September
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Have you talked to your friend about the party? I don't know what kind of a relationship she has with her parents but who knows - she might be totally okay with you discussing the party with her dads. I think it might be helpful for you to discuss the party and what happened there, so given how good of a friend she is, I'm sure she'll understand, too. Can't hurt to discuss it with her!

As for your father, I am truly sorry that he is so unaccepting of you. I hope you understand, though, that this is coming from a place of bias, and has nothing to do with who you are or what you are doing. Just because he can't see that you're an awesome person, doesn't mean that you aren't an awesome person. Okay?

Have you spoken to your teacher about your fears? He may not be the administration, but he is a teacher, and it may help to know you have an ally in that place. But again, if you don't feel comfortable coming out in school, then you just don't. I know it sucks to feel like you have to hide who you are, but high school isn't forever, and you can built a support network for yourself outside of school. You're already off to a great start with your friend and her family!


I'm heading out for the night (it's already 2am here), but the other volunteers will be around and they will be happy to talk to you in the meantime. And we can continue this conversation tomorrow, if you'd like!

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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acallahan
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wow, it's like 9pm here. hope you enjoy your sleep.

her parents are great, but I don't want to burden them with all my issues. honestly, I don't know how to say it. She was asking me all day what was wrong, if someone said anything, if it had to do with the party because we lost each other for a good two hours. I trust her, but the whole night is blurry and I don't want her jumping to conclusions about who it was especially when I'm so unsure. I love her, but she's exhausting.

I have a midterm tomorrow that my teacher is proctoring. I might say something to him after class, but I still don't know what I'll say.

I keep trying to remember more from that night. I remember going upstairs and falling all over the place. Then I was up against the wall and...yeah. And then I was freezing my *** off on the porch because it was like 5 degrees, but I stayed there for a while until I went back in to look for my ride home. Or I went outside before it all started...my sequencing ability kinda died on me.
Next morning I had a splitting headache and marks on my neck that I spent a solid 15 minutes trying to get rid of before finding a collared shirt.
There are snippets, like the feel of his hair or that fact that he tasted absolutely awful (like dirt and cheap beer), but nothing to distinguish him from about 150 people in my grade.

I need to get it out of my head, telling me i'm ok doesn't really make me feel any better. It's just been pounded into my head that what I'm doing is wrong. It's been explained to me over and over again in a reasonable tone of voice and I really don't want to lose the rest of my family over something I should be able to control.

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CoatRack
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her parents are great, but I don't want to burden them with all my issues.

So here's the thing about that – as much as we insist that we, as LGBTQ people, are Just Like Everyone Else there is a difference, and that difference is that we have this shared experience that our straight and/or cisgender peers don't have. We have the experience of coming out to ourselves and our friends and our communities, and while every story is different it's a story about the same thing.

And even when you have the most accepting friends and family and community every you still have the knowledge that there's a group of people out there that thinks who you are is evil and wrong, and it's always there, the little nagging feeling at the back of your mind that the next person you meet might not be OK with gay people. Even if it never comes up in conversation, even if you're just buying a jar of peanut butter from the corner store and you exchange all of four words – there's that knowledge, sometimes totally subconscious but present.

Other people in the LGBTQ community get that. They know what it is like to have those first awkward experiences and then on the top of all of the “normal” stuff going on in your life you can't even tell the person you want to tell.

We get it. Older (and not that much older – I am 23) people in the LGBTQ community get it. We get it and we (for the most part!) want to share our stories and our knowledge. I bet your friend's fathers would be delighted that you came to them about this. You don't even necessarily have to explain the entire situation. I'm not suggesting you lie but saying something like “I kissed a guy for the first time and it just wasn't everything I wanted and I know I'm gay so what the heck?”

We have community because we NEED community. Having adults in our lives who have shared experiences is invaluable, and I really don't think you'd be a burden. At all.

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Hey folks, my name is Andrew and I was a mod here for awhile a couple years ago. I'll be here for a couple weeks while Heather is out and the site is even more short-staffed than usual

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acallahan
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i can't think of the proper adjective to describe how thankful i am to you and everyone on this board. thesaurus is failing me right now.

it's so weird, going from my house where nothing makes sense and everything is uncomfortable, to their house which is so lived in with paintings and family photos and whatnot. I feel kind of out of place there.

it's been a long time since i had a family, especially one as caring as theirs. my mom died a while ago, but my dad never really got over it and he's just living in the memories now. when i'm tried to talk to them i ended up picking at my nails and listening to them tell me i'm still a good person. i still feel like im imposing on them and their (mostly) perfect life.

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OWL Dan
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Please remember that your friend’s Dads probably had similar experiences, like Andy said, when they were teens. I have a feeling that you wouldn’t be a burden to them. Besides, who better to be supportive than someone who has lived through a similar experience; plus I wouldn’t be surprised if they wished they had someone like they could be for you. With that being said, please look in to a support group too. Do you have any interests or hobbies that might lead to groups outside of school where you might meet new people? This might give you a fresh start and a chance to make some new friends as well as give you something to look forward to doing.

I would like to reiterate to you that you are not doing anything wrong! If anything, what your dad and uncle are doing is wrong for being phobic about something they don’t understand or are willing to try to understand. I would also like to remind you that your being gay is not something that you can control; it is simply part of who you are, which is a normal person.

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Dan

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acallahan
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well, i've played vasity soccer since eigth grade (i would also like to add this is the only reason i'm not a complete outcast at school), but i'm more into art history and achitecture. i run every morning and i'm also good at physics, though i'm not sure how those mix.

they told me that i didn't have to come out right away, to wait until i was ready. i asked what happened when they came out and found that one was kicked out of his house with a duffle bag and the other forcibly transfered into military school. i think my dad might go duffle bag route, we don't have a military family history.

talking to people is hard for me. typing is easier. there's a backspace button when you type and you don't have to look at the people when you speak.

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OWL Dan
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Are there any of the many museums, especially the art and science ones, that offer any type of volunteer program? If they do, it might be a great way to meet others with similar interests.

Your friend’s parents are right; there isn’t any rush as to when to come out. It would probably be better to build a strong support base first, and it doesn’t matter what the size is. This could help you to be more secure about yourself and be prepared for whenever you decide it is the right time.

I can fully understand where you are coming from about how it is easier to type than talk face to face. I too was someone who was on the outside for the most part in Jr. & Sr. High and I felt it was safer to keep things inside than to have someone know I had problems. I would have loved it if life had a backspace button. I can tell you things can get better though. It is getting late and I need to get to bed at this point. I am willing to come back tomorrow; let me if you feel that I can be any more help to you. [Smile]

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Dan

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acallahan
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sorry, i fell asleep last night. midterms...

as far as extracurriculars go, i tutor english and history after school and occasionally SAT work. we have soccer workshops but that's really for little kids.

i talked to my history teacher today. i thought about calling my friend's parents but it still feels awkward, almost TOO personal if that makes sense. well, i approached my teacher after my midterm and planned to say "do you need help carrying those?" which somehow translated into "i kissed a guy saturday"

it sounds clichéd, but saying it out loud helped me breathe again. i'm not saying that i felt a whole load lift off me or anything like that, but i did feel a little better. he took me to his office and gave me a bottle of water because my hands were shaking.

after that, talking got a lot harder. i kept shaking which is embarrassing as hell and really starting to get annoying. talking about it makes it more real, affirming everything that makes me so uncomfortable. i asked him if any other guys had been acting strangely and he assured me no one else had approached him. then we talked a little more and he gave me 8 pages of outlining with a primary source reading packet.

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OWL Dan
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I am very happy to hear that you talked to your history teacher! [Smile] It sounds like he was very understanding. It also sounds like it actually went really well and I don’t hear anything that you should be embarrassed about. What you described sounded both real and honest. That was a great step! Believe it or not, it will get easier each time you are willing to talk about your concerns and problems and you will feel better too! Trust me, its true! It really helps when you are able open up and let it out. [Big Grin]

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Dan

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acallahan
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i'm a little of a control freak, very neat, very organized, often quiet, and being athletic is probably the only reason people notice me.
i like things like post-war impressionism.
i hate things like not being in control of my body.

when i suspected i was gay i hit the internet and researched the shit out of it. i got redirected to organizations like LICC (helpful/supportive) and NARTH (which made me throw up). it's how i found Scarleteen, but at that point i didn't sign up, i just lurked the forums. i wanted to know what to expect.

it's nice to know that talking about it gets easier but i seem to just be blurting things out at inopportune moments. i can't get my hands to stop shaking or jittering. it's embarrassing to me because i can't control it, like being gay. the tremors get worse when i think about it and only go away when i'm working or doing something else with my hands. like now, i take my hands off the keyboard and they're shaking.

[ 01-25-2011, 11:01 PM: Message edited by: acallahan ]

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OWL Dan
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I can relate with you more than you might think. I would love to keep talking more but I have to head to bed again. Meanwhile, please find something that will help you to relax. Not getting enough sleep won’t help anything! I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon.

Once again, talking will get easier, it will be rough in the beginning, but it will get easier!! [Wink]

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Dan

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acallahan
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i have two midterms tomorrow, one at 8am, so i probably should get to sleep too. ugh, why can't i have emotional angst during vacation or something?

the only things that really, really, REALLY calms me down is running. straight, flat out running. it's 12:20 so i think i'll just take a shower and go to bed (after going over pre-cal notes again because i'm going to be distracted enough during that test and would love not to fail).

this is turning into a rather long thred...thank you!

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September
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I just wanted to say, I hear you on the blurting things out at random. Just about all of my first few coming-out moments were awkward and unplanned. You know, coming out isn't a skill we're born with, it's something we have to feel our way into. And coming out is hard. So don't get down on yourself for that, okay? No one knows how to do that perfectly, and it sounds like you're a doing a great job of going with your gut. I was so glad to see that you talked to your teacher, and that it went so well. Go you! [Smile]

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Johanna
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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

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acallahan
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reality decided to hit me today and it hits hard.

this site has exceeded any expectations i had, you guys are amazingly informative and supportive, which is hard for me to come by right now. i'm completely stressed during the day and it's nice to come home and find something other than an empty apartment.

i sat down for my midterm today in the lecture hall and in the five minutes before the test started, i was shaking. i was basically looking at the entire grade and trying to figure out who i kissed (shockingly unsuccessful). so the guy sitting to my left asks me why i'm shaking and i blame it on nerves. five seconds later he asks me if i'm on drugs. i must've given some kind of affronted look because he put his hands up and said "fine, you don't have to be such a queer about it."

now normally i would've rolled my eyes, made some kind of witty retort, and shaken it off later. i mean, i've heard way worse thrown around the school. it just kind of stung so i turned around and tried to shrug it off.

the thing is, he's a nice guy. normal, funny, smart enough to take calculus, if someone like him is so bigoted it kinda brought me down to...oh right, my life exists beyond the internet.

yeah, bad day. just want to talk about it.

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OWL Dan
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Sorry to hear about your bad day! I hope you were still able to ok on your exam.

I know that you are really on edge about being gay in what seems to be a completely un-accepting and ignorant world, but take a step back for a moment. Is there a chance that this classmate was simply reacting to your unusual response to him and used the word ‘queer’ in one of it’s original meanings “differing in some odd way from what is usual or normal” (from Webster’s Dictionary)? While many people believe that gay and queer are the same thing, there are many people, like myself, that use the word ‘queer’ only for what it was originally meant to mean. This being said, I just want to remind you that there are a lot of accepting, open-minded, and considerate people out there. Unfortunately, we usually are the ones who seem to blend into the background, if compared to those who are ignorant, closed-minded, and/or (believe it or not) scared of what is different or they don’t understand. But once you start to reach out more, you will discover how many of us there really are. [Wink]

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Dan

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acallahan
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i tutor him in English, trust me, he's not using it in the original context. he also thought the word "spartan" meant "gay" but i'll blame that one on the movie 300.

and i don't really think looking affronted when someone asks me if i'm doing drugs is an odd or abnormal reaction. i was just wondering how he jumped from "nervous" to "drugs."

what do people fear about being gay anyway? i'm so concerned about other people's opinions when i don't even understand where this ignorance is coming from. who the hell decided that? and since when is the appropriate reaction ostracizing? why does this have to be the one fear people embrace with a passion? go conquer arachnophobia.

my dad asked me if i was having "girl troubles" today because my friend was all passive-aggressive when she came over to pick up her backpack. it's mostly because her dad's flight got delayed three days and she knows i'm keeping secrets.

the good news is that i probably got over a 90 on my pre-calc midterm! the bad news is i fell twice in the new snow. when's winter ending?

Posts: 45 | From: New York, New York | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
OWL Dan
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I hear you; I was just giving him the benefit of the doubt on the definition. As to your reaction to the drugs question, not having seen it, I don’t know how it looked. I can tell you, from being a paramedic, that if you were physically shaking, looking nervous, and if you might have used short and strong vocal reply that it can easily be mistaken with the response to taking some types of drugs if basing it on ‘looks’ alone.

Why do people fear the whole idea of being gay? There are as many answers as there are people who feel that way. Some of the more common reasons are: societies/religions have been teaching people that “God’s way” is that man and woman (married no less) is the only ‘right way’ and that any other way is a sin, some think that being gay is a mental illness, some think that it may be contagious, some fear that accepting ‘gayness’ will get them ridiculed as well, and so on.

Why was your friend acting “all passive-aggressive”, was she upset with you about something?

Great news on your pre-calc exam! When is winter ending, not soon enough!!! By the way, please forgive me as I am a slow typist, interacting with my kids and trying to put some thought into my answers too as I respond back to you.

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Dan

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acallahan
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dont worry about it, kids are important! and from what i learned from a brief babysitting fiasco, they need to be regularly entertained or else they get cranky.

my friend's upset (ok, she needs to be a proper noun. please pick a name before i accidentally type it) because i've been acting off recently. i've been really jumpy and she knows something's wrong and is pretty pissed that i haven't told her. i honestly don't know why i haven't...besides that she might blow it out of proportion and i'm still pretty embarrassed over the whole ordeal. she's also upset because she hasn't seen her dad since christmas and insists that Skype just isn't the same. so she's dealing with it by giving me time to tell her (except she has the patience of a three year old) and losing sleep studying for midterms.
you can generally gauge how pissed she is by the complexity of her vocabulary. today she described someone's shirt as "odious" so i'd give that about a 7/10

**KEEP INTERACTING WITH YOUR CHILDREN**
they will appreciate it.

my dad tried to talk to me about something other than our "safe topics" (soccer, school, grades, the weather, grocery shopping, etc.) and it was a disaster.

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OWL Dan
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I feel that it would be better for both of you if you were to tell her about what happened at the party. You already know that you can trust her, even if she tries to down play it. Besides, maybe she might be able to give you more clues as to, or even tell you who it was. Heck, that might help you relax some if you can clear up that mystery. One thing for certain, who ever it was, they aren’t going make it public or they would have already.

I can understand why your friend would be upset, between your pulling back from her (intentional or not) and missing her dad, I sure she feels a little abandoned right now. Add to things the stress of mid-terms and I’ll bet she is at her wits end too.

I am glad that your dad is at least trying to have some interaction, including asking if you were having “girl troubles”, no matter how it ended up. It shows that he cares and that he is trying, even if he doesn’t know how. I really appreciate your comment about my kids! [Smile] I know too well what you mean. My dad wasn’t around much while I was growing up because he worked too much and neither parent was able to "be there” for us even when they were around physically. Just so you know, things did change for the better after I was an adult. Also, I even changed careers, when the first one was born, so I would be home with my kids more. I hope that sharing this with you will show you not only is their hope, but that you can turn things around with some hard work and time. Counseling and support from people I trusted is what helped me get there. I’m not perfect but life is better! [Wink]

It's getting late again, as you know since we're in the same time zone, and I'll be back again tomorrow. Take care and get some sleep also! It will make a difference! [Cool]

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Dan

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acallahan
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Go play with your kids in the snow! We got like two more feet last night...

You were right about my friend feeling lonely, I went over to her place today and we talked. She really misses her family, it’s like every time one of her dads gets back, the other leaves in two weeks. I think she’s putting on a brave face for her parents who clearly miss each other. They have this weird tradition of sending each other blank postcards wherever they go and there are about fifteen Chinese landmarks adorning the fridge.

I told her what happened at the party and she (predictably) grabbed a yearbook and went through every possibility with me. She was a great sport about it, made me laugh the entire time. We went outside and had a snowball fight later (regardless of what she says, I LET her win. Damnit.)

Note: when having a snowball fight, go to a park. Street-snow is filthy.

The reason I was upset when my dad tried to talk to me was because he encouraged me to break it off with her. He said that she wasn’t that great of a person and implied that it was her parents’ fault. They both have military records (one of them is decorated), college degrees, steady jobs, and are excellent, caring parents. He told me that it didn’t matter my friend was adopted, she probably learned it (whatever “it” is) from her parents. He said I shouldn’t fight for our “relationship” if she wasn’t worth it.

No. Just, no. Logic doesn’t seem to work on him, but yeah, another friendly reminder that my dad has no clue who I am!

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Heather
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Hey, acallahan: I just wanted to check in with you to make sure that, if you want to be, you're clued into and connected with some of the seriously awesome LGBTQ youth resources your fair island has to offer.

Are you? If not, do you want to be and want some help knowing where and what they are?

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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acallahan
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Heather,

you have an awesome quote in your signature. i meant to tell you that when i first saw it, but it didn't seem appropriate in the previous thread.

i tried to do some research by myself, but i was kind of overwhelmed by the amount of information...and my pre-calc midterm (biggest time-suck ever). i checked out some stuff online and thought that going to something would mean lying to my dad about where i was going, which i feel oddly conflicted about because even though he sucks as acceptance, he did raise me basically by himself.

if you could send me some rescources about what specific programs do, it would be a really big help. but new york is HUGE so do you want me to send you my zip-code or something? and how exactly could i do that without posting it online (callahan CLEARLY not my last name)

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Heather
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Thanks! I'm quite fond of it myself. [Smile]

Why don't you just give me a rough idea of what borough or neighborhood you're in? Or you could post a zip code. Or, you could use the "contact us" link at the bottom of this page and email it. Whichever you like.

Do you want to talk about seeking out resources without talking to your Dad about it? My advice would be to try going somewhere first and talking to them about not being out to your Dad. They may well be able to help you bridge that gap, however daunting it may seem or feel right now, so that you would not have to be dishonest for long.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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acallahan
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i sent you guys an email through the Contact Us link.

excellent site by the way, it's nice to know that not everyone is a close-minded highschooler.

it's like getting hit by ~positivity~ because i know none of you personally and am not a nervous wreck while typing

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Heather
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Just got it, and I'll get you a list first thing in the morning. Just FYI, I didn't suggest that because you've overtalked here or anything! Just thought you might want to know what some additional and in-person resources for you could be. [Smile]

And thank you! That's our hope, so always nice to get feedback that lets us know we're doing our job well.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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