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Author Topic: Please help..bi or not?
Girlprobs20
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Member # 50738

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Hi,I'm a 17 yr old female and I'm not sure what sexuality i would class my self as.
I would class myself as straight at the moment but ever sinse year 8 i've been questioning.

I've had 2 boyfriends (well 1 proper 1). The first guy i went out with was an idiot and i found out he was a player after we finished. When girls walked past he say "ooft i'd go out with her".
And the 2nd had been on and off for a while but he always wanted a secret relationship and he messed me about. It was like he was ashamed at me and he broke my heart on several occasions. Kissing guys is ok

* Im still a virgin *

Quite alot of my friends and Bi or gay and recently ive stared questioning more and more. I have kissed 3 girls. They were all pecks but i got nervous but felt kinda alright after.

I also don't know if im starting to crush on a good friend of mine, she's bi..i kept thinking of girls

I also took several online tests and it either says "I'm bi" or "Straight but leading to bi"

Please help me! [Confused]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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No one else can ever tell us what our own sexual orientation is, including an online quiz or a service like ours.

What we CAN do, though, is explain what terms for orientation mean so you can perhaps better figure this out for yourself. "Bisexual" generally means that people can/do experience sexual and emotional attraction to more than just one gender of person: as in, not just men or not just women, but some combination of both.

"Heterosexual" is a term people tend to use to mean they are only or solely attracted to people of a different or opposite sex or gender than themselves.

"Questioning," as an addition, is a term some people use to identify when they're just not sure what their orientation is yet, or when they are in a life stage of having been sure, but now not being so sure anymore.

Knowing that, also know that it's up to each person how they want to identify themselves and to whom.

[ 12-13-2010, 03:08 PM: Message edited by: Heather ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Girlprobs20
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aHH OKAY thanks
But i still don't know why i kept thinking about my friend and why i suddenly have feelings for her.
What advice would you give me to help me know for sure because it's about time i made myself certain. I also keep checking girls out like their body, bums and boobs [Embarrassed] x

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Chances are you're not going to know for sure, especially based on just how you feel about one person, and how old you are.

Discovering what our orientation is tends to be a longtime process that takes at least some years, sometimes longer than that, and is often ever-evolving.

What I hear you saying right now is that you don't know and aren't sure. So, the best way to find out, in time, is to let yourself question for a while and let yourself be unsure. As you pay attention to who you're attracted to over a few years. who you want to and do pursue relationships with, and what terms feel best to you, you'll get there.

If you try and rush it, it'll likely only become more confusing, not less.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Girlprobs20
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I have been unsure sinse i was 13
and i know i'm still young but i've been hurt quite afew times.
the guy who i really liked messed me around and thats knocked my confidence when it comes to flirting with people.
Oh can i ask you 1 more thing (sorry lol)
Do you know the usual signs of you knowing that you may not be straight?
Thankyou so much for helping i appriciate it so much x x [Wink]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I'm not quite sure what you mean.

There really are no "signs," save experiencing feelings of sexual and emotional attraction to more than just people of an opposite/different sex or gender than you.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Girlprobs20
Neophyte
Member # 50738

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Sorry thats what i mean,
Thankyou anyway...I will ask more questions if i need to or give you any updates x

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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No need to be sorry! [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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