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Author Topic: Families & Identity
Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

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So, myself and a couple of the other volunteers here are starting a piece for the main site on how we deal with our families with regard to their ideas and feelings about our sexual orientation and/or gender identity. We'd like to include quotes from some of you wonderful people, just to show that there are a lot of different ways to deal with families or circumstances that may not be all that accepting.

If you've got a story to share about you, your orientation/identity and your family or your living situation, we want to hear it! It would be great as well if you could include whatever name you would be comfortable with us using on the main site (whether it's your first name, your initials, or your handle here) and your age.

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5775 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
eryn_smiles
Peer Ambassador
Member # 35643

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Perhaps I might start. I've found it a real challenge with my own family. But I thought I'd share something an older friend told me, when I was upset, about how she and her partner coped with family:

"We are lucky and accepted for who we are, but it was not an easy road to get there. We had to let some friends and family "go" by the wayside and to forgive and move on hurtful things that were said and done to us, in order to re-establish or grow the important relationships and allow the people who matter to us to react and then get used to new ideas. It took some emotional resilience and the belief that the significant people in our lives did love us -it was just the idea of it, that they needed time to get their head around, and if we just kept quietly being ourselves and being kind and loving and appreciating them, they would eventually come around. Having children helped the most actually. It seemed to normalise us."

It made me feel more positive to hear that, and it's nice to believe that maybe time and love can actually 'conquer all'.

[ 08-24-2010, 06:13 AM: Message edited by: eryn_smiles ]

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"Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare."

Audre Lorde

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Karybu
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 20094

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eryn, thanks so much for sharing! (And I so hope that eventually things work out for you with your family.)

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"Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing." -Arundhati Roy

Posts: 5775 | From: Canada/Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JenBug24
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I know this post is really old, but I wanted to add my tuppence. [Razz]
I am gay (or lesbian, but I don't like that word) and I have rather homophobic parents. When I accepted my sexuality I didn't want to come out to them for fear of retribution and whatnot. However I couldn't just say nothing, so I brought up general views or discussions and asked their views, by also telling them a bit of my point of view, one of my parents became a little more open to the idea. It's still a work in progress (I am only 16 and decided to start 'dropping hints' when I was about 14), but I think it shows that education, to some extent, is the key to acceptance. In some cases anyway. [Smile]
(nb it doesn't always work, as in the instance of my other parent, it made things worse. Way worse. That's a story for another thread though)

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-x- JenBug24 -x-

Posts: 45 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Jan 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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