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Author Topic: A little confused
Djuna
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Member # 29269

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I was wondering if you guys could give me some advice on something?
I've been wondering for a while now if I might be gay (or bisexual). It's just strange is all, because I can be attracted to men quite easily, and the idea of kissing a man isn't all that strange to me. But I really don't like the idea of anal sex - anal penetration is something I've experimented with by myself, and it's really not something I enjoy particularly. So I'm left somewhat confused, to be honest.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I want a label, I'm just... curious, I guess.

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Not all gay or bisexual men have or like anal sex, and lots of straight men enjoy it as well.

Liking or wanting anal sex isn't a determinant of sexual orientation.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Djuna
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Well I don't want this to sound the wrong way - this is purely my ignorance talking now... if gay men don't have anal sex, what do they have? [Confused]
I mean I've heard of frottage, and of course there's oral or manual sex, but none of those really sound like... 'intercourse', if you know what I mean.

[ 06-06-2008, 08:06 PM: Message edited by: patrickvienna ]

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Nobody -- as a universal -- needs to have intercourse to be sexually fulfilled just like nobody needs to have manual sex to be fulfilled. Plenty of people don't have it at all and have totally satisfying sex lives, and plenty of people who DO have intercourse aren't sexually satisfied.

So, gay men can do any number of things just like anyone else: manual sex, mutual masturbation, oral sex, frottage, role-play, sensation play, all kinds of genital or full-body massage, the works. Plus, even though you don't find (yet or ever) receptive anal play that interesting, you may have a male partner who does and find that being the insertive partner, or stimulating his anus with hands, fingers, your mouth, toys, what have you, is compelling or satisfying.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Djuna
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OK, that actually makes sense. [Smile] Thanks Heather!

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“In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I don’t know what I am. I don’t know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.”

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Happy to help!

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68255 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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