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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Being forced to identify as straight. Advice? (long post)

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Author Topic: Being forced to identify as straight. Advice? (long post)
Member # 38159

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Well, in the past 2 months, I've come out to 3 of my family members who didn't know I was bi (my parents and one of my cousins). My dad has no problem with it, in fact, he even supports it. My mother on the other hand resents it. My cousin basically was like, oh, that's cool. Well anywho... My adoptive older sister, who has known I was bi before almost anyone else, has never really had much of a problem with it, but lately she's been really mean and hateful about it. We're both Christians, and she's been pulling the whole Homosexuality vs Christianity card, and I'm really tired of arguing about it with her. Because of this, I've stopped dating girls, stopped expressing any interest in ladies I find attractive, and now I'm being forced to identify myself as straight. The only person I've really confided in this about is my younger adopted sister. She supports whatever I choose to do, but I'm still not sure what to do. I don't want to fight, but I can't say I'm bi anymore, and I'm really attracted to a certain friend of mine, who is also attracted to me. (She is pregnant, and if we got together, I'd be helping her raise the baby.) Help? (sorry about the long-ness)
Posts: 3 | From: Tx. | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33665

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You say your father, your younger sister, and your cousin are all supportive, so why not talk to them, especially your father, about your older sister's behavior and how it really hurts you? You shouldn't have to lie about who you are just because of one person in the family when it sounds like almost everyone else does support you. You might also bring up to your sister that there are a lot of christians who are gay, lesbian or bi. In the Episcopalian church, they even have gay and lesbian ministers, and you really can't say that a minister isn't religious, even if your family isn't Episcopalian. You can also tell her that who you are attracted to has no impact on what you believe in or on the degree of your faith.

As for your friend, I have to say that since your profile says you are 16, I don't think it would be the wisest decision to be in a relationship with someone where you are helping them to raise a child. You still need to take care of yourself and finish your education. While you can be supportive of your friend and help her out on occasion, you should not structure your life right now around helping her to support a child. Here are a couple of articles which you may want to take a look at:

I Want It NOW!
The Reality of New Mommyhood

Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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