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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » Is this normal?

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Author Topic: Is this normal?
Member # 35815

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Is it normal to obsess about your sexual orientation to the point of having anxiety attacks? I have been attracted to boys since kindergarden, I am 16 now. I have recently just started obsessing about being lesbian. It kind of popped out of nowhere. I have had a history with OCD, if that means anything. But I just don't know what to do anymore. I have never ever had a crush on a girl, but when I am around my friends, honestly all I feel is anxiety. All i hear in my head is, shes pretty, do i like her?
do i want to kiss her? this goes to the point of an attack. It's like I have a "ritual" I have to do with every girl until I am sure that I am not attracted to her. And with guys, I am a mess now. I am in fear that I am losing my attractions to guys. I just don't feel like myself. I'm not that girly flirty girl I was before. This has been going on for 2 months now. What do i do? Is this normal?

Posts: 5 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

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It does sound to me like your OCD is playing a part in this. Usually, people start to question their sexuality because of some triggering event, such as feeling attracted to someone of the same sex. But you report never having been attracted to the same sex, and in fact always having liked the opposite sex. Thus, the fact that you're terrified of developing attraction to female friends sounds more like a fear that is fueled by your OCD. Are you seeing a counselor for your OCD? If so, I encourage you to bring this up with them. If you aren't, and these anxiety issues are seriously affecting your life, I would suggest that you look into getting some counseling.

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"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9192 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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