posted
I am 20 years old. Female and only ever been with men. At a party the other night I said something about going to a strip club with the boys. All the girls there asked me if I was Bisexual. I took a minute to think about it and replied 'No.' And since I took a minute to think about it, aka hesitated, they were like; 'No, you stalled, you are, you're bi!!11!' Obviously I take my own opinion over some random girls, but it got me to thinking. I love women. They are beautiful. I love watching them naked and seeing them interacting with men or other women. I also love men, but as for aestetics, women are were it's at. I honestly feel that sexuallity cannot really be labeled. But seeing as only few people around here think like that, it made me wonder if I am. I have never done anything with women, and don't really know if I could, unless it was purely for sexual pleasure, no relashionship. When I see myself in a few years, I see myself with a man. I guess I am just confused about all of this, any ideas, thoughts, opinions?
-------------------- Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about. Posts: 36 | From: HustlinEverywhere | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
Welcome to the world of Trying To Figure It Out, sweetie. We're a big club, so come right on in.
Seriously, sexuality is a very confusing thing, especially when we're all programmed to kind of believe that you'll naturally fall into categories without any trouble. It's essentially the world trying to us as individual round pegs into square holes. It just don't work.
Like you said though, when it comes to something as personal as sexual orientation, your opinion and feelings are what matter most, natch. Don't rush to place any label on yourself if it doesn't feel like a comfortable old sweatshirt. Take a peek around the boards, run a search. This type of discussion has happened countless times (and that, if anything, highlights how utterly common what you're feeling is), and there is an endless font of information regarding lables (or the lack there of) around the 'net. Take a peek, consider your own feelings, and ultimately make the decision when it feels right, and only then.
-------------------- Tim
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed. -- Carl Jung Posts: 712 | From: Michigan, US | Registered: Oct 2001
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posted
I just wish I didn't put this pressure on myself all of a sudden to choose. I actually feel that since it came up in conversation it's now been in my head. I wish there also wasn't all this social pressure and issuses about homosexuality/heterosexual/asexual/bisexual/whatever else I missed. I wish things could just be. We should go back to the Roman times of drunken sex and orgies with whoever.
-------------------- Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about. Posts: 36 | From: HustlinEverywhere | Registered: Jun 2006
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But no, really, the discussion is painful. So, do you have any girl you're interested in, even if it is just for some really hot sex? 'Cause if not, then it's not as much of an issue. A lot of people use a non-specific label like "questioning" or "queer." Some people refuse labels altogether. Take some time, take some deep breaths, and read up. Like Dude_who_writes said, there's lots of people just as confused out here to bond with. Have fun!
-------------------- "Cut her down." "She is a witch!" "But she's our witch. Cut her down." Posts: 174 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
Been pondering labels for a little while myself. My feeling- use whatever description is appropriate to the situation. Words are tools. We use them, not vice-versa. So you might not feel a need to use a label for yourself, but it might come in handy if the subject comes up in conversation where people are often too impatient to listen to a more accurate, detailed description. Or you may feel like it's none of their business if you don't fit any of their little clumsy labels. Depends basically on the person, context, what they'll understand etc.
-------------------- "God creates men, but they choose each other." "Veni, vidi, velcro- I came, I saw, I stuck around." Posts: 7 | From: USA | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
Ginger - I myself questioned my sexuality last Summer (and have been a bit ever since)
I had never done 'anything' with a guy and started to find females totally sexy (there were a some I felt close too)
I have since had my first snog with a guy (who's a really good mate) and have kinda felt that is where I am meant to be - hetrosexual - but should the situation arise to kiss/do anything with a female, who knows, I may or may not take the chance.
I can't really see myself having a 'relatioship' with a female, just being intimate.
So yeah - there are a lot of us feeling the same as you babe xxx
posted
I like to call myself human. I don't think that's desputable, about everything else is.
I get scared that if i call myself straight, then what if some fantastic fellow who could be just perfect passes me by in the assumption that i've got a sexuality set in stone. I wish people would just accept that we are liquid. I really don't wanna call myself bi, cos i definately don't at the moment have enough feelings for men to constitute it. It's more thought than i need to hear. If someone really wants to know then i'll tell them how i feel inside about sex. If they're just saying "STATE YOUR ORIENTATION NOW" i just go "straight" cos they obviously don't really care, so why give them anything to assume about, i've got nothing to declare.
Saying, "i don't like lables", people just reply "so... that means you're bi". Tell them it's none of their business and it's "are you trying to hid that you are gay?"
As "not_a_hobgoblin" was saying labels are words and words are tools, unless you're really making a stand, u might as well go with the flow. Tell people "straight" and not even bother with the tiring conversation which could follow anything else.
I'm content with not caring. You need to just know who you are, and clarify that, rather than the word which explains it. I'm even content with knowing, that I DON'T know.
posted
It's good to know that there are others out there in the big, bad world who are brave enough to admit that THEY DON'T KNOW. I'm glad that it is not a sin (or whatever you want to call it) to be confused and to ask questions about it. Yay for us!
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