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Author Topic: Kinky. . .
VenusInFurs
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Uh, I have a really big issue.

Kinkiness is a big part of my sexual identity-- yes, I read the "Working The Kinks Out" article, which was good, only why do you have to work the kinks OUT?

Anyway, I guess my problem is that I feel isolated. I don't know anyone else who identifies as kinky the way I do and there is no safe way to meet anyone my age who can relate to these issues. I feel horrible because there is literally NO information, aside from your article, that is legally accessible to people under eighteen. It's like people like me aren't even supposed to exist....

Anyway, I hope someone can relate to this because I am dying for some help.

--------------------
"Beauty is nothing
But the beginning of a terror
We can just barely endure
And we admire it so
Because it calmly disdains to destroy us."

Posts: 3 | From: Another planet | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Lauren-
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That article referred more to negotiating the kinks out of a relationship in the case where one partner wasn't okay with/into certain acts and behaviors being integrated into the relationship. It wasn't intended to mean anybody with kinks should get rid of them. [Smile]

The most you can be told here is that you are what you are. A natural variety in sexual taste is nothing to be ashamed of. While it may seem impossible for you to find likeminded people now, as you get older you'll meet many new people with various interests, identities, orientations, etc.

People like you DO exist. It's just that many teens don't feel comfortable making this part of themselves known until they have matured, as well as found a broader world to share themselves with.

[ 08-09-2006, 03:19 PM: Message edited by: Miss Lauren ]

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not_a_hobgoblin
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Hey VenusInFurs-

Another teenahe kink reaching out! I'm definitely intrigued by things like bondage and sensation play, but, again, no info for kinky teens. It's kind of depressing, and kind of scary. I can just imagine someone my age accidentally choking their partner with the bondage rope because no one will tell them how to do it right.

Ah well. 9 months until I'm eighteen, and I'm legally old enough to think for myself on so many levels. I can't wait.

--------------------
"Cut her down."
"She is a witch!"
"But she's our witch. Cut her down."

Posts: 174 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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There is a really good org, run by two very cool young women, in Minneapolis for youth on kink issues: Queer Youth Exist.

(Believe it or not, it was part of their senior project for their Girl Scout troupe. I kid ya not.)

Also? Y'all CAN go to the library. There are often plenty of books on kink totally available to you legally, as is also the case at the bookstore. Remember: online information is often a virtual Cliff's Notes. READ. The info is out there.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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amelie poulain
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Hey! Another kinkster here. I can completely relate to the feeling of isolation. Have either of you come out to anybody about this? I've only told my best friend, but just talking to him was amazingly helpful, enough though he doesn't feel the same way.
Posts: 7 | From: canada | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
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I feel horrible because there is literally NO information, aside from your article, that is legally accessible to people under eighteen.

As Miz S pointed out, there are plenty of books and articles that are legally accessible to you.

But adult kink organizations are often in a very tough position, facing harrassment by police and legal authorities as it is (e.g. the infamous case in the UK where a group of men were charged with assault for consensual S&M activities).

So the last thing they need is to put themselves in a position where they might be accused of "recruiting" teenagers, especially those under the age of consent.

It's a lousy situation, but it might help to know that this is why people are often ultra-strict about age restrictions; they have to be. It's not because you're "not supposed to exist".

[ 08-16-2006, 08:34 AM: Message edited by: logic_grrl ]

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"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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not_a_hobgoblin
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Miz Scarlet, I really did check my local Waldenbooks and Books-A-Million for books on kink, but I did not have much luck. Sure, they had kinky erotica, and while that might be educational, I was looking more for a sort of practical how-to. Do you have any titles (or know anyone that can reccommend titles) that I can ask Waldenbooks to order for me?

--------------------
"Cut her down."
"She is a witch!"
"But she's our witch. Cut her down."

Posts: 174 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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SM 101 by Jay Wiseman is a good start. He offers some very practical advice on safety and some basic techniques. It's available on Amazon if that's an option for you.
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not_a_hobgoblin
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Mleh, unfortunately it's not, as I have no electronic money, and I don't know how much my parents would spring for a book on SM. Of course, I can just imagine their faces when Waldenooks calls to say my order is in... hmmm... have to rethink that plan...

--------------------
"Cut her down."
"She is a witch!"
"But she's our witch. Cut her down."

Posts: 174 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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Actually you can pay by check or money order. It takes a bit longer because you have to mail it in and Amazon has cash it before they'll ship your stuff but it's better than nothing.

And if you're unfamiliar with them, money orders are easy to use. You can buy them at any bank and several big-box stores like Target. You give them the cash you need to pay for whatever you're buying and a small fee (usually very very small) and they give you something I think of as a guaranteed check.

Hopefully you find something that works for you. [Smile]

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Heather
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You can also always special order books from your bookstore.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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not_a_hobgoblin
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Thanks! I'll have to check that out!

--------------------
"Cut her down."
"She is a witch!"
"But she's our witch. Cut her down."

Posts: 174 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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