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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » bi but hiding in a closet

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Author Topic: bi but hiding in a closet
tokewl4you
Neophyte
Member # 11268

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im bi but everyone i know thinks im strait i just moved into a new town and my new friend is bi and i dont know how to come out of the closet without looking like im just copying her also i just got the greatest boyfriend who just went into the airforce and i told everyone that im strait im in desprate need of help because i finally admited to myself that im not as strait as i portray it to my new friends and my old HELP!
Posts: 6 | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Let's think about it this way: if you were heterosexual, and had a heterosexual friend, would you be fearful of telling them that because they'd think you were "copying them?" Nah. Same goes here, love. You are what you are what you are.

You also get to decide when and to whom you want to come out. It's not a rush, and nno one is going to hold it against you for not coming out earlier than you do because we've all been there.

So, take your time. When it feels right, then you can come out. if you need a little help, have a lookie here: Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out (Or: How to Come Out of the Closet Without Tripping Over the Laundry)

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Izzybella6
Activist
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i just wanted to add my own two cents.

I've noticed that there is an ideal way to come out with something like this. maybe if you reveal yourself in a certain way, things will be easier for everyone.

maybe, instead of saying "oh, i just wanted to say that i think I'm bi too."

i'd like to say "I'm pretty sure i'm bi and i've known for a while now. I didnt' say aything before because i was a little embarrassed"

and a girl once told me to never forget to say that you were too embarrassed to say anything before. When you do say this it reminds them, especially GLBT individuals, how it felt for them goign public. That way, there is very little chance that they might think you're announcing things for other reasons. Also, never forget to identify with other people's feelings and ideals before or after coming out. sometimes it's easy to forget that we're not the only souls who feel like we're struggling. You can gain friends and allys by letting them know you feel the same.


Posts: 56 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Izzy, that is absolutely excellent advice, especially that last bit.

Well done.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
VASpider
Neophyte
Member # 11031

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Query: how important is it to you that specific people know? Do you want to come All The Way Out, or just, you know, peek out and wave to certain people?

The techniques I'd use in those differing circumstances are different, obviously.


Posts: 4 | From: Pennsylvania | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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