okay, so I'm not much of an activist. Sexuality really isn't my thing, it's not important to me what sexuality someone is. Just as long as they can understand me and I can understand them we're good to go. But... I can't lie, I am a bit of a sexist. I won't talk to men on the internet, and in person i tend to just avoid them, and if they talk to me I say, "I'm a lesbian, go away." Before they even get the chance to tell me their name. I really have no interest in them. I don't think that makes me a bad person...but I think in some way it does make me wrong. I should give guys a chance...they're not all out for sex, only 74% of them. Well anyway, I was reading a posted topic about how homophobes just make us stronger. Yeah, that is true in it's own way. You beat us down and we're just gonna come back even more angry and rebellious than the first time, or the second time, whatever the case may be. But I have been dealing with homophobia since I came out with being bisexual when I was 11, of course, I had my suspicions about my sexuality when I was as young as 9. I was very "butch" and yes, I know image is just image, how you want to present yourself as a person really has nothing to do with sexuality, or religion, or political views, or whatever. Its just clothes hair, and big boots, lol, whatever way you present yourself. But for me I was always more drawn into a girls body than I guys. I mean, I was always curious about guys...and I will admit, I don't mind watching a guy jerk off, but I would never have sex with a guy. The idea of actually touching and not just watching repulses me. And I would never again have a relationship with a guy. I can't hold interest in a guy longer than 5 minutes, 15 if they're lucky. With a girl I'm all ears and I'll go to the ends of the earth to please her, no matter who she is. I just appriciate women more. Maybe it's cause I always felt alienated from guys, and girls always made me feel more welcome, I don't really know. I've totally gone off all subjects here in case you haven't noticed, lol. I sunconsciously made a U turn. Now I'm gonna turn my car back around and get back on the subject. My parents are homophobes, they grounded me when I came out with being a lesbian. They scream at me whenever I acknowledge it. And I really didn't think it was having any effect on me, cause I always considered myself to be a pretty strong willed person, you know? and they finally let me go to this gay meeting for women and men and transgendered. But the whole time I was there, and the whole way back home I felt like I was doing something completely wrong. My muscles were tense, I could barely breath, I could barely talk, and I wanted to cry, I wanted to curl up in a ball and close my eyes and lock myself in my room for the rest of my life. So...homophobes do hurt us, we can't deny that. But once we do lick and heal our wounds we jump back up out of the shadows and we're out for blood, we're the vampires that toast the blood of our enemies. and this is off the subject but i wanna fit it in here anyway...I don't hate strait people, I fear them, because all the ones I've ever known disowned me or did their best to ruin me. That's all.
[This message has been edited by kythryne (edited 06-06-2002).]
Posts: 13 | From: Caldwell, Idaho, USA | Registered: Jun 2002
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I know that when you're a young lesbian, it's easy to distance yourself from men and straight people in an effort to define yourself more clearly. But as you become more at ease with your sexuality (whether is stays constant of changes), then you won't feel such a need to shut yourself off from potentially cool people.
I guess what I'm saying is that you should give straight people and men a chance. Pride should not be about exclusion. By saying that 74% of men only want sex, or that most straight people you met have tried to ruin you, you're creating stereotypes in your mind. Maybe some people stereotype you because you're a lesbian, but that doesn't mean you should stereotype them right back. I find it very hard to beleive that straight people are all trying to ruin you. There are lots of friendly, welcoming straight people, and men (and everything in between!) on these boards. I hope some of them will help change your mind!
quote:Originally posted by spiritual_anorexia: So...homophobes do hurt us, we can't deny that. But once we do lick and heal our wounds we jump back up out of the shadows and we're out for blood, we're the vampires that toast the blood of our enemies.
I certainly hope you aren't being literal. Violence really doesn't solve much--look at 9/11, the IRA, or Israel for examples.
Or as Einstein said: "Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding."
------------------ Sapphire Cat Looks won't tell who's living inside. Artist, poet, programmer, dreamer, and crossdressing bondage kitty
i've never really had any experience with homophobic people, and i find that all the straight people i know are...normal whether they know my sexual preference or not! maybe i am just lucky or there is something in the water where i live!
i don't really know what i'd do if i was singled out by someone or a group of people for being gay. Me and my g.f always hold hands, kiss and cuddle in the street and places and haven't had any abuse, i was told by a friend that what we're doing could be dangerous and we shouldn't act like 'that' in public, but its not an act we are very much in love and hate not being together.! I don't actually know why I have put all of this I've strayed off the subject a bit!
Oh..the only person that was a little strange about my sexuality was my mum the first time she met my g.f! she said: But what should i say, I don't know any gay females, what are they like! Tehehe bless her! I replied 'mum i am your daughter u idiot! n gave her a hug! then we laughed it was really very strange.
------------------ intellectuality means nothing when you live to die.
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