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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Identity » My family and My Sexuality

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Author Topic: My family and My Sexuality
Rune
Neophyte
Member # 4471

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Why do people have to be homophobic? What is the point in making our lives hard? I sometimes wonder if they find it amusing. What's worse is when family members are homophobic.

My grandmother is extremely homophobic. I asked her one-day, "What would you say if I told you I was bi?" She pretty much told me I was not bi-sexual. And that it was disgusting and should never be talked about. (Everything is very hush hush on that side of the family) That, of course made me very angry. But as quickly as the anger had come, it subsided. After all, I was asking a woman who had never in her 56 years changed her opinion unless some divine intervention occurred. And even then, she had serious doubts.

The funny thing is she put together this "family time" which was set aside every Wednesday so that she could "get to know her grandchildren better". And I told her a few Wednesdays after my question, that I thought it was rather brave of her to attempt to get to know us when she decidedly through out the idea of even one of us, being such an "awful" thing as bi. She immediately burst into tears, pouring guilt all throughout my being. But to this day, she still claims that I'm straight. Even after all my hinting and direct confrontation. Some people really cannot change.

My father is not so much homophobic, but rather disapproving that his daughter could be bi. Even when, he doesn't consider hiding the fact he would love to be with two girls at once. (My mom and father are divorced and I don't see much of my dad, thank god)

And my mother would be accepting of my sexuality. But she still, thinks that I need more experience in the field of sexual relations before I decide on such a thing. But she isn't encouraging sexual intercourse for me anytime soon.

My sister takes it as a joke, but I blame that on myself. At first, as a type of "test" coming-out I joked about being bi. So to this day, it's still one of those "funny things the older sister talks about." Which may have been my mistake in the first place. Because now, no one will take me seriously. My friends. My family. (or the remaining who hasn't completely thrown out even the most remote idea that something so "sinister" could be in their precious child) They all think it's a joke.

So now that I've typed all this, I don't really know what my point was. All of this just came rolling out, and I don't know where I was going with it. But it feels better to be written down, and where other people can read it and give opinions.

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“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” -Eric Hoffer


Posts: 2 | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
smittenkitten
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 2297

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Hey Rune,

I came out to my mum about 6 months ago, and even though I thought she'd hate me after she found out, she was very accepting and even said that in another world she could be a lesbian.

My father is racist, though never around me. He was brought up in a strongly religious family, and I think that he has probably followed his parent's lead and become homophobic.

My grandparents (paternal) are very religious and I have no doubt they would not be accepting of my bisexuality. When my uncle married a chinese woman my grandparents said they couldn't imagine having "slanty eyed" grandchildren. When my parents were married in 1984 they wouldn't let them get married in a church because my mother was catholic and my father was protestant. I just wish everyone could accept each other.

If your grandmother can't handle your sexuality don't worry, just keep living life the way you want to. Sexuality is almost always a taboo subject with the older generation, and it's something you just have to get used to.

Hugs & Scully,
Winnie :0)


Posts: 465 | From: Canberra, ACT, Australia | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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