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Author Topic: Does anyone else find this?
TidyGirL17
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Member # 1955

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Okay I think socity has gone 2 steps forward, and 5 back. In my school the word "gay" is like swearing, if said people get red in the face and look like deers caugh in headlights. And for me who has a gay bestfriend its hard to keep calm. People like to pretned they are okay with it, but really its socity making them. I am sick of it. And I can't understand why its soo hard for people to accept this, Does anyone else feel that some people are huge fakes?
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Pixie69
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Not at all. I feel that at my school if someone doesn't like you they'll yell out "dyke!" in the hallways to you, and then you get strange looks in the lockerroom and suddenly everyone around you has moved their lockers so they don't have to change by you. There are whispers and giggles as you walk by or enter class late. There are sneers. It's never happened to me but I've seen it happen to a lot of people and quite frankly I'd rather see people be fakes then see girls grow out their short pixie haircuts because it's happening to them, and they're not even queer.

I think so many people are just rude and cruel and I think that it will be like this for a long long time, if not forever. If it's not because of your race or sexuality it will be because of something else.

But I agree. Why is it so hard to accept? All I can do is rise above it and make sure that I never ever do anything like this to anyone about anything. But even if I didn't realize all this I think I wouldn't do it anyway.

Brittany

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I'm so sexy it's almost evil

"...a ready supply of playdough that anyone can create the stuff of their dreams from" - Mz S


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Sexy1985
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My best friend is also gay..and ya know what? No matter how many times I post on here that it doesn't matter if your gay or not, be who you are (which is the truth) It still hurts me that he is. You guys can call me close-minded if you wish, but it just hurts to see him with a guy. It doesn't seem right. I'm not putting down anyone here or saying this is a wrong way to live...I just wish he wouldn't. I find that people at my school are very accepting of gays though...It doesn't really matter to them.
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Heather
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You know, one of the most humiliating and infuriating experiences I have ever had in this vein went something like this:

I was assistant teaching in the year after college, and the other teacher I was working with was a man who clearly had some very strong sterotypes in his brain about people (which is odd, considering he was a male bodybuilder jock-person who was teaching elementary school, so I'm sure he'd run into some himself). In any event, though my sexual orientation had never come up in conversation (hello, work isn't the place for it), he assumed that I was gay. I tend not to argue or say otherwise when people make assumptions like that about me, I figure it's their problem.

One day, in a classroom (Montessori) where one NEVER yells across the room, I was on the far end of the classroom giving an English lesson when he yells, "Heather, can you come over here and tell these kids what a dyke is?"

He is sitting with a group of fourth graders when he asks me this. I stop my lesson and am livid, and turn around and look at him incredulously.

He shouts it AGAIN.

I walk over softly and lean down and say, "What did you ask me?"

Again, loudly, he tells me to explain what a dyke is. I just look at him.

Then, with a big, crappy grin, he points to a map and tells me to explain what a "dike" is.

Steaming, I explain it to the children in geographical terms as he's trying to keep from laughing. before I walked back to my lesson, I said, softly, but loud enough that the prinicipal walking by could hear, that since I did him the favor of explaining what a "dike" was, perhaps he might want to now explain to the children what sexual harassment is.

Really, it was awful, but unfortunately typical, and it doesn't stop in school, unfortunately.

But you know, these things take time, and sometimes, you have to allow people to not be okay with something. Before I went home that day, I pulled him aside and asked if he did need to know what a dyke was, if he felt he needed to know what my sexual orientation was, and that if he had any questions about it, I would be happy to explain things to him or furnish him with some reading matter on the topic. I also mentioned to him that while I personally understood some people do have some inherent bigotry about the matter, I wasn't going to tolerate it at work, especially since he had never even taken the time to ask if I was lesbian or not, which I felt was patently disrespectful. You know, that problem stopped right there. It never came up again, and in truth, he was much better with me for the rest of the year.

These things take time, and it's hard for something to change quickly when it's new, and as far as acceptance of things that in some cultures were taboo, that change usually takes several generations, and a lot of patience.

For instance, Sexy just posted that she feels homosexuality isn't "right," and I think it's okay she feels that way, and the best way to help someone like that is to acknowledge it's okay they feel that way, but then put the burden back on them. Ask them to look at WHY they feel that way. More times than not, asking questions like that make most people realize that they don't know why, and they begin to grow.

Feeling any one group of people are wrong or immoral for being anything that they cannot change -- their race, their social status, their nationality, their age, their sexual orinetation, their body shape, etc. -- is bigotry, and bigotry is serious business, and it is never "right," because it isn't humane. But it exists, it's out there, and the only way to combat it in my experience is with tolerance, with kindness and with educating people who are bigoted, even if they are forced to behave as if they are not.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein


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Sexy1985
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Miz Scarlet...I didn't mean to offend anyone at all, I guess what I meant to say was it isn't right FOR ME. I do know why I feel that way though, I'm sorry again if I'm mistaken, but the Bible forbids it doesn't it? again...I'm not saying it's wrong....
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Heather
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Sweetie, I'm not offended, and that was my whole point.

You are allowed to feel how you feel about it, absolutely, even if that's seen as negative.

What I was trying to point out is that it's worth thinking about WHY you feel that way -- even if you figure that out, it doesn't mean you have to like it. But knowing why you feel how you do means you won't feel that way out of ignorance, or out of simple cultural bias, but because it's really YOU who feels that way about it. The big problem with things like this as Tidy was saying, is that people tend to pretend to feel it's okay when they don't, and if they don't, they often don't not because THEY have a problem with it, but because they are just regurgitating what they have heard elsewhere.

In terms of the Bible, yes and no, if you ascribe to the Bible. It's good to remember that Judeo-Christianity isn't the majority religion in the world, and as well, even many judeo-chrsitians don't ascribe to everything in the Bible. For instance, the Bible also forbids sex outside of marriage and procreation (which is why homosexuality is by default forbidden). The Old Testament also forbids things most people do every single day, like charging interest on a debt, shaving or getting a haircut, and women wearing pants.

So, many people pick and choose what they follow by the Bible (as may be obvious), and homosexuality can be just one of those things...or not.


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TidyGirL17
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Sexy I hope you dont let your bestfriend feel bad for what he/she is, cause this will be the hardest time for him, and it will be hard for you too, I love my bestfriend and if i could i wish i could try and help him from all the bad stuff. But i cant, All i can do is stand right beside him

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~So this is what life is? Really? I should have guessed!~


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Sexy1985
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dude! I never let him feel bad! He knows my views and I know his and we both respect how the other feels, he also knows that I'll have his back 100% if he needs me. Wether I aprove of it or not doesn't matter, I have stuck up for him many times this year when people were making fun of him. Its not really a matter of being gay or not, It has to do with respect.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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And that, Sexy, is truly exceptional of you and is what friendship is all about. When a friend supports you regardless of how they personally feel about something, you know you have a real friend.

He's lucky to have you.


Posts: 68215 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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